Going Back
by tiva-feels
Summary: It's been three years since Ziva David was rescued from Somalia. Three years of fighting back the memories of that summer. But, when a case takes the team back to Somalia, Ziva's life will never be the same. Eventual TIVA. First story .. please be nice! Rated M to be safe
1. My Office

Ziva David walked into the bullpen, the familiar sound of banter between her two teammate filling her ears.

"Come on McGoo, give it back!" Tony Dinozzo whined as he leaned his entire upper body over Tim McGee's desk, trying to retrieve whatever it was McGee had taken.

"It really is quite the look Tony, have you ever thought of bringing it back?" Tim taunted, "People would pay good money to see this."

Ziva set her backpack down at her desk and slumped into her chair. The sound of the playful back and forth between the two of them never got old. She chuckled softly to herself, watching the two of them fight over a piece of paper.

"Hey Ziva," Tim said between gasps of laughter, "I think you should see this!"

Tony glared at him "You wouldn't." He said accusingly to Tim.

Tim looked back at him, mischievously, "Wouldn't I?" Tim handed the piece of paper to Ziva.

Ziva looked down at what appeared to be a picture of a young Anthony Dinozzo, wearing a purple sequined onsie with a matching head piece, striking what looked like a very poor 80's dance pose. Ziva looked at Tony, looked back at the picture, and burst into laughter.

"Well Tony, who knew you were ever so … fashion forward." She teased, "Tim, would you mind making me a copy of this?"

"I already did!" Tim smiled at Ziva, and then looked over at an extremely red-faced Tony, "Next time you think about putting krazy glue all over my keyboard, just remember that I have this photo scanned to my computer and that I can print out two-hundred copies in about thirty minutes. I think the rest of the office would _love_ a good laugh, don't you?"  
Tony looked at his teammate, "Well played, my young probiesan," He patted him on the back, "Well played indeed."

"I don't see a game anywhere," Right on cue, Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs walked into the bullpen, coffee in hand, "Ziva, my office." Ziva stood up, unsure of what was going on, and made her way into the elevator. Ziva wasn't exactly sure what to expect, the last time Gibbs had called her in here was when she had first come to the team after killing her brother, Ari. Whatever it was that he wanted to tell her, had to be serious.

Gibbs shut down the elevator, and stared into Ziva's chocolate brown eyes. Ziva looked back, quizzically. Gibbs hesitated. _Gibbs never holds back_, Ziva thought. Now she was worried. Gibbs only acted this way when he talked about his daughter. Something wasn't right, she could feel it.

"Gibbs, what is going on?" Ziva asked, staring deep into his ice blue eyes.

Gibbs took a deep breath, and then explained, "We have a case."

"That is good, yes?" Ziva was still confused. _Why is he so tentative?_

"No, Ziver, not this time. We have to go to…" Gibbs stopped, took a deep breath, and continued, "Somalia, Ziver. We have to go to Somalia."

**Hope you enjoyed! I will be updating soon.. please review! Xo**


	2. Thank you

Ziva looked at Gibbs, eyes wide. Somalia. The place where her nightmares began. It had been three years of successfully controlling the nightmares and panic attacks that had started after that summer. Three years of pushing it back, of trying to forget. Ziva panicked. Her heart began to race, her breathing quickened. She backed into the corner of the elevator and fell to her knees. She stared strait ahead, trying to push back the tears that threatened to fall from her chocolate brown pools.

"N-no." She managed between gasps. It couldn't be true. She wouldn't let herself believe it was.

Somalia.

Gibbs slowly, tentatively, knelt down next to Ziva and cautiously put one hand on her shoulder. Ziva stiffened and jerked away. "Ziva," Gibbs whispered, "Ziva look at me. Please." Ziva let her eyes flick to Gibbs. It took all of his will not to gasp and look away when her eyes finally met his. The tears that she had been pushing back finally began to fall. But that wasn't what scared Gibbs. When he looked into her eyes, he saw nothing. No emotion, not even fear. Just barren, empty, _nothingness._ He hadn't seen that look since Somalia the first time.

"Ziva, I'm telling you this because I want _you_ to decide if you go or not." Ziva didn't respond, she broke eye contact with him, bowing her head, trying to redeem composure. There was silence between the two of them. Long, heartbreaking, silence.

"How much time do I have to decide?" She finally said.

"We leave in 4 days. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I only found out yesterday."

"Do not apologize. It is a sign of weakness, no?" She was trying to lighten the mood, trying to keep her mind off of it.

Gibbs forced the corners of his mouth into a small smile. "Not between friends. And especially not with something like this."

Ziva kept her head down, refusing to make eye contact with the team leader. Her head was swimming. She wasn't sure what to think anymore. She didn't want to leave her team, to miss out on a case ... but how could she go back?

"Ziver, no one is forcing you to go." Gibbs said, "Hell, no one _expects_ you to go. What happened to you out there, well ... its beyond any of our darkest imaginations. It may have been three years ago, but those might be memories that are too fresh to revisit. Don't beat yourself up about this. If you don't go, no one blames you, or thinks your weak. Your the strongest person any of us have ever met. Don't let _anyone_ make you think otherwise." Ziva's lower lip trembled as she nodded curtly. She stood up, wiped the tears from her eyes, and flipped the switch on the elevator. There was silence again between the two. Suddenly, Ziva turned the elevator off again.

Gibbs turned to look at her. "Thank you." she said. And, with that, the two of them left the elevator.

**AHHH! Maybe its just excitement ... but this is now the second chapter I have posted today!  
Please please PLEASEEE review ... I want to hear ideas, thoughts, and anything else you want to say!  
At this rate, I will have a new chapter up SOON!  
Xo! (:**


	3. I Am Fine

Tony Dinozzo watched as Ziva and Gibbs left the elevator. It had been years since he had called any of them into his "office". It always meant one of three things.

1. Something serious

2. A secret known only to those in the elevator

3. Something was not ok

By the red puffiness around Ziva's eyes and the solemn look on Gibbs' face, Tony could tell it was the third. Tony walked over to Ziva and put a hand on her shoulder. Ziva gasped and stiffened. Tony immediately pulled his hand back.

Tony wanted to make sure she was ok. She was his partner! His crazy, ninja, ass-kicking, ex-mossad partner. "Zi wha-" But Ziva cut him off before he could finish his thought.

"I am fine, Tony." She said, giving him a small smile.

But Tony knew she wasn't "fine". He could tell. Sure, she forced a smile on her face and acted like she was happy, but her eyes proved different. They had lost their usual beauty and brightness, leaving barren and emptiness in its place. Tony felt a twist of pain in his heart. He couldn't stand it when she kept secrets from him.

"I thought we were past this Zi..." He said, looking down so she could not see the pain that marred his eyes.

"Past what?"

"_This_." He said, "Lying to each other. Hiding the truth, keeping secrets, pretending we are ok. I thought we had moved on. And don't you dare say your fine again. I can see it in your eyes. You are _not_ ok. Will you just tell me what is wrong ... _please_?" Ziva wouldn't look at him. She _couldn't_ look at him. Tony could see the tears forming in her eyes.

"It is nothing, Tony. I have to get back to work." She said dismissively before walking back into the bullpen.

Tony watched as Ziva slumped down at her desk, laying her head on the table. It hurt him to see her so ... he couldn't find a word to describe her. He needed to know what had happened... how he could help her. _Gibbs,_ he thought, _Gibbs will know what to do._ Tony looked around the bullpen. "Now if I could only find him." Tony muttered under his breath. It wasn't uncommon for their fearless team leader to disappear with no explanation. He was quite mysterious that way.

As if he was reading his mind, Gibbs walked up behind Tony. "Give her some time, Tony. She'll talk to you." Tony turned to face Gibbs, "Get McGee. Ihave something to tell both of you."

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Ziva slumped down on her couch. It had been a long day to say the least.

Somalia.

She still couldn't wrap her head around it. _How am I supposed to decide?_ Zive brought her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. She wasn't sure what to think.

_"Somalia, Ziver. We have to go to Somalia.__"_ Gibbs' words still rang in her ears.

_Somalia._

Ziva shook her head, "No." she said to herself, "Do not think about it. Not right now." Ziva shut her eyes and put her head between her knees. Just as she started to dose off, she heard a knock on her door. Ziva ignored it, not wanting company.

"Come on Zi!" a familiar voice said from the other side of the door.

"Ugh ... Tony." Ziva muttered to herself, "He will not go away. Ziva sighed, fixed her hair, and got up off the couch. She opened the door to find Special Agent Anthony Dinozzo standing there with a bag full of what smelled like Chinese food.

Tony hesitated, unsure of what to say. "Thought you might be hungry..." He said sheepishly, holding up the bag. Ziva smiled and stepped away from the door, allowing Tony to step in. _Thought you might be hungry ... really, Tony? That is the best excuse you could come up with?_ Ziva mused to herself. She was happy he was trying, though. At least she didn't have to be alone tonight.

**Ugh ok so not my best chapter ... but I have a lot to come in the next one (I should have it up by tomorrow at the latest!)  
As always ... review review REVIEW! (:  
I've been loving all the advice, ideas, and comments that I have been getting... please keep it up!  
xo,  
Alex**


	4. Anytime

Tony set the food down on the living room table and sat down on the couch while Ziva went into the kitchen to get plates and utensils. Tony's head was swimming. Gibbs had told him and McGee about their new case that afternoon. He wanted to talk to Ziva but he didn't know where to begin. Somalia nearly destroyed her the first time ... how was she supposed to go through it again? Tony almost hoped that she would decide not to go. He didn't want to have to see her hurt. He hardly noticed when Ziva came and sat down next to him on the couch.

Ziva hesitated before finally speaking, "Gibbs told you ... didn't he?"

Tony snapped out of his thoughts, looking at Ziva. The light was still gone from her eyes and her face was twisted into an expression that was partially fear, partially pain, and partially something else he could quite read. Tony wasn't sure how to answer her. Neither of them spoke for what seemed to be hours.

"Do you ... do you think your gonna come?" Tony finally asked.

Ziva sighed, pondering his question. She had been trying so hard to keep her mind off of it, but she knew she couldn't run from the question forever. "To be honest with you, Tony, I have been trying not to think about it." she whispered, "I don't want to say I won't go, but at the same time I can't bring myself to say that I will."

Tony looked at the Israeli. Brown curls spilling over her shoulders, almond toned skin, if it weren't for the seriousness of the situation, Tony probably would have taken advantage of having her all alone. She was perfect. Even the scars that marred her gorgeous skin couldn't take away from her beauty.

"Tony ... your staring." Ziva mused, bringing him back to reality.

Tony gave her one of his perfect grins, "Sorry ... Its been a long day."

Ziva smiled back, "Yes ... it certainly has."

With neither of them wanting to continue their conversation, they both commenced in plating and eating their Chinese food in comfortable silence. Nothing more was said between the two of them except for the occasional flirtatious banter that usually filled the work place. For Ziva, it was just what she needed at the moment. But, Tony knew that he had to talk to her ... to make sure that she was OK. While he loved being able to make her laugh, he could see it in her eyes that she was still masking her true emotions. She may be a full NCIS agent now, but she had held onto her Mossad training extremely well. However, for now, Tony didn't bring up the events of the day. Not until they began to clean up.

"Zi," he started, using his nickname for her, "I know you don't want to talk about it ... but I have to ask. Do you think you are going to go to ..." Tony stopped, he couldn't bring himself to say the word. _Somalia_.

Ziva looked at him, trying to figure out the right thing to say, "I-I don't know. I just ... I don't know." Ziva looked back down at the plate she was cleaning. She knew he was trying to help, but she didn't want to talk about this with Tony. Not yet at least.

Tony set his plate down in the sink and put a finger underneath his partner's chin, willing her to look at him. "Ziva, don't feel like you have to do this. I know its a tough decision to make. You nearly lost everything in that desert ... how could you ever think of going back?" Tony shuddered, thinking about the state she had been in when they finally found her. Pale, thin, _broken_. He realized that her _nearly_ losing everything was an understatement. At the time, she _did_ lose everything. He shook his head, pushing the image of her to the back of his head. "But, if you _do_ decide to go, know that I will be there for you every step of the way."

Ziva looked into his emerald green eyes. He was telling the truth. She could hear it in his voice. "Thank you, Tony. For everything."

Tony smiled at her and pulled her into a hug, "Anytime, Zi. Anytime."

**Told you I had a better chapter coming!  
This is my gift to all you Tiva fans out there! (The first of many Tiva chapters to come!)  
So anyway, please please PLEASE review!  
Ziva may seem happy now, but she still has a huge decision to make.  
Want to know if she will end up going with the rest of her team or not?  
Keep reading! The answer is just around the corner!  
xo,  
Alex**


	5. Flashback

Tony finally left Ziva's apartment at 10:00 pm and all she wanted to do was take a shower and then curl up in bed. Ziva went into her bathroom and turned on the shower. Whenever she had a hard day, the warm water always cleared her head and helped her relax. When the water started to steam, Ziva got into the shower. She ran her fingers through her loose ringlets, smiling as the water pelted her tired body. In Somalia, she was hardly ever allowed to wash herself, and when she did, it was merely Saleem or one of his men throwing dirty water at her. It was only after that fateful summer that Ziva realized what a luxury it really was to be able to shower.

When the water finally started to run cold, Ziva turned it off and wrapped a towel around herself. As she was stepping out of her shower, she slipped on a patch of wet tile. Her knees landed on the ground with a thud and her towel fell to the floor. Her eyes shut. Suddenly, she was not longer in her bathroom, but in her dirty cell.

_"You know, I could kill you right now, end your misery." Saleem said, circling her with a knife in his hand, "I would make it quick, painless. All you have to do, is tell me what you know."_

_Ziva thought about his offer. Death. To end the pain, the suffering. It was enticing. But could she really betray her friends? Her __**family**__? Ziva shook her head, but said nothing. She stared straight ahead. Saleem grabbed her bruised, bloodied, face, forcing her to look at him. His breath smelled like cigarettes and the superficial sweetness in Caf-Pow!_

_Ziva struggled, trying to rip her face away from him. But, after three months of torture and malnutrition, she was too weak. "You will tell me what I want to know. There is only so much that the human body can take before breaking. You are strong, but you are not superhuman. You will break. It may take longer than others, but you will."_

Ziva snapped her eyes open, screaming as the last of the flashback drifted away. She grabbed her towel and wrapped it around her trembling body. For the first time in three years, Ziva had allowed the demons inside her head to overpower her.

Ziva picked herself up, pulled herself together, and made her way into her bedroom. More than anything, she was mad at herself for letting the flashback surface.

_Stop thinking about it._ She thought to herself. She began to hum softly, trying to keep her mind busy. Ziva slipped into a pair of sweatpants and her favorite gray NCIS t-shirt, brushed her hair, and finally lay down in bed. She fell asleep chanting to herself _I will not dream, I will not dream, I will not dream._

**Soooo... what do you think? prettyyy please review otherwise you don't wanna KNOW what I will do to you with a paper clip! (Ziva taught me well)  
Want to find out if Ziva goes to Somalia? Read the next chapter, coming soon!  
But seriously, PLEASE review. I will love you forever if you do :P (Not that I don't already love all of you!)  
Sorry about the incredibly short chapter... I just needed something to set up for her big decision!  
Xo,  
Alex**


	6. Decision

_It was a dark place. Not dark in the sense of scary or sad, but just black. No light. Ziva strained her eyes, trying to see what was ahead of her._

_"H-hello?" She called out, to what she didn't know, "Is anyone there?"_

_"I am here." A faint whisper, barely audible answered her. As far as Ziva was concered, the voice did not belong to anyone. No one was there. No one besides her._

_"Who are you?" Ziva asked. She put her hands in front of her, trying to find whoever ... whatever ... had answered her._

_"You do not recognize me?" The voice replied, "I must say, Ziva. I am slightly hurt."_

_Light started streaming into the space. White, blinding light._

_"Please ... just tell me who you are." Ziva pleaded._

_There was no answer. The light got brighter and brighter until Ziva put her hands over her eyes, trying to shield them._

_"Come on, Ziva!" The voice taunted, "You don't remember the voice of your own sister._

_Ziva gasped, her mouth gaped. She dropped her arms, "Tali? Tali is that you?" Ziva called out, "Where are you? Please, let me see you!"_

_As the light started to die, a silhouette appeared in its place. It started walking closer to Ziva. She was sure it was Tali, who else could it be? Ziva smiled and began to ran towards her sister._

_"Tal-" Ziva stopped, eyes wide. She started backing up, but tripped over herself and fell to the ground. She tried to get up, but it was like she was stuck. She couldn't move._

_"You cannot run from me forever." A heavily accented male voice rang through Ziva's ears. A voice that had terrorized her for three months. Saleem Ullman. Ziva whimpered. She struggled against the invisible bonds that held her down. Saleem moved closer and closer until he was standing almost on top of Ziva. "You can't get rid of me, Ziva. Not if you keep running. Stop running."_

_"P-please ... leave me alone. I just want to be alone." Ziva begged, tears trickling out of her eyes._

_"Stop running, Ziva." Saleem said again. But this time, it wasn't just his voice. It was Tali's also._

_"Stop running..." Everything began to fade into darkness. The same darkness that had began._

Ziva shot up in her bed. Her body was drenched with sweat and tears were streaming down her face. Ziva got out of bed, put on a fresh pair of clothes, grabbed her car keys, and left her apartment. When she finally reached Gibbs' house, she almost turned back, but something stopped her. The house was unlocked, as usual, and no one was upstairs. Ziva made her way down to the basement. With each step, the smell of sawdust became stronger until the smell almost stung.

She found Gibbs with his back to her, working on the begging skeleton of a boat. "Whats on your mind, Ziver?" He said, back still turned.

Ziva took a deep breath, "Stop running." She whispered to herself. "Gibbs, I have made my decision."

Gibbs stopped what he was doing and turned to face Ziva. His misty blue eyes completely unreadable. "And..." He prompted.

Ziva propped herself on the work bench near his desk, "And ... I have to go back."

Back.

**Well, there it is!  
I hope that this chapter was worth the wait ... I had to figure out how exactly I was going to make her figure out that she had to go!  
I wanna try something a little different for my next chapter... I'm not sure how I want Gibbs to react to Ziva's decision. So, I want you guys to help me decide! Let me know how you think the next scene should play out. Should he be angry? Scared? Sad?Shocked? Happy? Proud? I want you to decide! the person who I think come up with the best idea will have it featured in the next chapter, I will favorite the author, and I will put their username in my little "newsletter" that I do at the end of each chapter!  
As always, REVIEW!  
xo,**  
**Alex**


	7. Action Reaction

They both stared at each other. Neither saying a word. Just uncomfortable, stiff, silence.

"Ok." Gibbs said, turning back to his boat.

Ziva just stared at him, "Ok?" She finally sputtered, "Ok?"

She got up, nearly kicking the work stool over in her rage, "I am making one of the hardest decissions in my life, and all you can say is ... _'OK'_?" Ziva scoffed, "Not even an opinion? Nothing?" Ziva sat back down, her rage dying and being replaced by a numb shock.

"Ok." She said staring straight ahead, curly wisps of black hair falling over her shoulders, "Ok."

Gibbs watched her, before finally saying, "Well ... yeah, Ziver. Of course I have an opinion. But why does that matter? You made the decision on your own. So what does _my_ opinion matter?"

Ziva chuckled to herself thinking back to the events of that night, "Trust me, I was not alone."

Gibbs just looked at her, slightly confused. "Never mind." She said, standing up again and making her way towards the steps. The shock was gone, but the numbness still remained.

"Ziver," She stopped and turned around to look at the silver-haired man, "I think ... I think you made the right choice. You can't run forever."

Ziva smiled at him, and began to climb the stairs. _You have no idea._ She said to herself.

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Gibbs flipped his cell phone open and pressed the first number in his speed dial. The phone rang.

"Yeah, Dinozzo." An incredibly sleepy Tony answered the phone.

"She's coming, Tony." Gibbs said. You could almost hear Tony wake up on the other side of the line.

"What? She's ... _what?_" Tony was shocked, _angry_ almost, "Gibbs, you can't let her come. No ... _no_. She ca-"

"DINOZZO!" Gibbs yelled, Tony silenced immediately. He knew better than to argue with Gibbs. "It is her decission, Tony. I can't do anything about it. If it were up to me, we wouldn't have been given this case in the first place. But, Vance is ... well ... Vance, and he gets the final say. She's coming, Tony. Whether we like it or not."

Tony didn't respond. He didn't know how. His head hurt, he couldn't think. She was ... coming?

"Gibbs," He said finally, "Its gonna destroy her. She barely lived through it the first time. How the _hell_ is she supposed to live through it a second?"

Gibbs sighed, "The conditions of her ... visit ... are different this time, Tony. She isn't being forced. She decided to come. Not me. Not Vance. _She_did."

He had a point. She was choosing to go back. Whether it was a good choice or not wasn't for any of them to say. As much as it hurt him to admit, Gibbs knew that she wasn't fully over Somalia. She bottled it up, put of a brave smile, but she never really got over it. She never really tried. She just hid the scars, and the hurt, and the fear. She tried to adjust to normal life, but all she did was alienate herself more from it.

"Boss, how do I help her? She can't go through this alone." Tony was scared, Gibbs could hear it in his voice. He didn't know what to do.

"Just be there for her, Tony." Gibbs replied.

"Alright ... ok. I'll see you tomorrow." Tony said before hanging up the phone.

Gibbs sighed and shut his phone. It was hard to see Ziva so ... un-Ziva-ish. She was scared, he knew that much, but there was something else. Something she wasn't letting on to. Gibbs thought of her like a daughter, he thought of _all_ of his team like his family. But especially Ziva. He couldn't explain it, but there was something about her that just clicked for him. She had always reminded her a little of Kelly. Strong-willed, kind heart, and not to mention incredibly stubborn. But that wasn't the only thing. He didn't know how to explain it, maybe it was her proving herself so early in their relationship, but he trusted her almost more than anyone else. Not only as an agent (and a damn good one, at that), but as a human being. Ziva was truly good.

So, to see her struggle with something like this hurt him. He didn't want to say anything to her because he didn't want to sway her decision, but he really was scared for her to go on this case. However, at the same time, he understood why she wanted to go. She wanted closure. Gibbs smiled. His Ziva, full of fire and passion, she would get through this.

She had to.

**Soooo.. what do you think? Special thanks to FlyingZoe for your incredible idea of Gibbs' reaction! It was very ... Gibbsy :p  
****The next chapter will be explain what the case is going to be (and yes, TIVA!)  
****I know some of you were probably expecting some after Gibbs talked to Tony about Ziva's decision, but I want to keep Gibbs out of the whole Tiva world for right now. He has other things to worry about and even though their relationship will become more prominent later on, right now the main focus is helping Ziva through all this.  
****As always, REVIEW REVIEWREVIEW!  
****xo!  
****Alex**


	8. For You

"Ltt. Macy Evans, thirty two years old and fifteen year old Hannah Evans were reported missing a month and a half ago.. Videos were sent to the Lieutenant's naval base showing her and her daughter captured and being held for ransom in a Somalian terrorist cell. Both were in incredibly bad shape and there were clear signs of torture and malnutrition. A team was sent in to rescue them. They are now admitted at Puntland Hospital in Somalia. Neither of them are fit to fly yet, which is why we have to come to them."

"So wait," Tony interpreted McGee, "If there is already a team there, why do they need us?"

Gibbs sighed, and looked over at Ziva. She hadn't made eye contact with any of them since she had gotten in to work today.

"Because half the team was admitted into the same hospital and the other half is dead."

And there it was. The cold, hard reality that none of them wanted to hear. And Gibbs knew that all of them were thinking, _It could have been us_. He wouldn't deny that they had beaten the odds by getting out of there alive, but he hated thinking about what _could _have been. He liked to think about the reality of how things are.

"So ... what exactly do they need from us?" Everyone looked back and the Israeli women. It was the first thing she had said to any of them all day. Ziva looked like hell. There were dark circles under her eyes, her normally loose curls were knotted and matted down, and her entire body was tense. It was clear that she hadn't slept well, if at all.

"They need us to question the Lieutenant and her daughter about what happened. There is barely any information known about why they were being held or what happened while they were."

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Ziva was exhausted. Her entire body ached from lack of sleep and her head felt like it was about to explode. The dreams had not subsided after her talk with Gibbs. If anything, they had gotten worse. They became less like dreams and more like the flashbacks that had haunted her those first few weeks after returning from Somalia. She was starting to question if she had made the right decision on agreeing to come. It was incredibly impulsive, after all. A dream about her dead sister and a man she hated more than anyone else at the time seemed a justifiable reason to agree on coming. But now, looking back, she realized that this could all be a very horrible mistake.

"Ziva?" Tony jolted her out of her thoughts. Her barren, tired eyes flicked up to meet his face, "Can we talk for a minute ... alone?"

She nodded and got up from her desk. They went around the corner to the stair well. Ziva hung back a little the entire time as if trying to stall the inevitable heart-to-heart with her partner. But, even when they were finally alone, neither of them spoke. Neither of them knew how to begin, and Ziva didn't want to have the conversation as it was. They just looked into each other's eyes. Ziva finally couldn't take it anymore. The silence, the sorrow, the exhaustion, the overwhelming feeling that she was about to cry, any of it.

"What, Tony." She finally said. It was more of a statement than a question. Tony could tell she was trying to shut down the conversation before it even started.

"I just ... I want to know if your ok." Tony said finally. He had rehearsed what he was going to say so many times, but in the moment, everything slipped away from him. There were too many emotions, too many other thoughts. He just had to know if she was ok.

"I am fine, Tony." She said dismissively. But, the second the words escaped her lips, hot tears began to fall down her cheeks. She put a hand over her mouth, trying to stifle the cry that came so close to escaping, and then ran into the ladies' bathroom.

Tony just stood there. He didn't know what to do. He wanted to help her, but he didn't know how. She kept her emotions hidden, and when she would finally show them, she hated any acknowledgment of them. But this time, Tony didn't care. He slowly, timidly made his way into the bathroom. Muffled cries filled his ears, but there was no one to accompany the sound. Tony looked around until he finally saw that one of the bathroom stalls were locked.

"Zi," He could barely make out the word. He was scared. He didn't know what to do. Women had never been his area of expertise especially crying ones. And even more than that, ex-Mossad ninja assassins who could take him out with one blow. But he had to do this. He couldn't stand seeing her so ... broken. "Ziva, come out. Please?"

There was no answer. Just more muffled sobs. Tony sighed, and then made his way over to the stall. He began the incredibly painful process of crawling underneath the stall door. When he finally was inside, he almost wanted to turn back and run. She was sitting in the corner of the stall, knees to her chest with her arms wrapped around them. Her breath was ragged and uneven, her face was stained with tears.

Tony almost wanted to start crying at the sight of her. "Oh, Ziva." He wrapped his arms around her. At first, she stiffened at the feeling of human contact. But once her brain processed that there was no threat, she not only complied to Tony's touch, but she needed it. She rested her head against his chest, as more tears fell onto his shirt. Normally, Tony would have cared that a giant wet spot was destroying his brand new shirt, but at that moment, he couldn't have cared less.

"I do not think I can do this, Tony." Ziva whispered between sobs.

Tony's heart broke. His Ziva, who was usually so strong and determined, was giving up. "It may seem hard now, Zi. But if anyone can do this, its you. You are stronger than any other agent I have ever met."

"You just don't get it, Tony. You were ... there ... for a few hours, a day at _most_. I spent three months in that hell hole. Three _months_. I do not think I made the right decision."

Tony held her closer to his chest, "Look, its probably not too late to change your mind. But you can't run forever, Zi. Sooner or later you have to try and get over this. You've suppressed it for too long. If your not going to do this for yourself, will you at least do it for me? I mean, McGee is great and all, but I can't exactly bare my heart and soul to him. I need you, Zi. I don't think I'll be able to make it through this without you." He wished he could have said more. That he wasn't just talking about the case, that he wanted to be with her. But he couldn't, not yet at least. It was too soon, and she was too damaged. She wouldn't be able to cope. This case was overwhelming enough as it was, and even though he wanted to tell her everything, he knew it would be too much for her to handle.

Ziva sighed and wiped the last of the tears from her eyes. She looked up at Tony, "Ok." She said softly, "For you."

**Who doesn't love some good Tiva!  
Hope you liked the chapter ... what do you think about the case?  
I just wanted to make it clear that at the moment, Tony is the only one that is sure of his feelings. Ziva is currently too overwhelmed to think about that. But don't you worry, it won't always be like that!  
But now I'm giving future plot lines away!  
Pretty please with Tiva love on top review! I always love hearing what you guys have to say about the story (:**

**Xo!  
Alex**


	9. Compound

The following day was filled with preparations and conferences in MTAC. Seconds turned to minutes, minutes turned to hours, and before any of them knew it, they were boarding a plane to leave for what all of them were sure was a trip to hell. The team didn't talk for most of the flight except to ask the occasional question or to try and make uncomfortable small talk, Gibbs briefed them on what would happened once they landed, and that was about it.

Around ten hours into the flight, every one was asleep. Every one except Ziva. She was scared of sleep now because of the invisible demons that always seemed to return. She didn't want to alarm the rest of the team, but she knew she couldn't keep the dreams a secret forever. Especially from Tony. He was probably the only person other than Gibbs who could see through her facade. So instead of sleeping, she just sat.

When they finally landed, they were all reluctant leave the aircraft. Especially Ziva who's heart dropped completely when she saw the airport. They all did eventually pile out of the plane and into the sweltering Somali heat. Special Agent Chad Dunham was waiting for them with a car to bring them back to the compound.

"Good to see you finally shaved that beard, Dunham." Gibbs joked with the man, trying to lighten the mood. Dunham smiled at him, but quickley changed the subject.

"How have you been, Ziva?" He asked. Every one looked at her. Ziva kept her gaze on the ground.

"Ok." She said sullenly. No one spoke after that.

The rest of the car ride was spent in silence. Ziva could feel Tony's eyes on her the entire time. The hour and a half ride to the compound consisted of Tony staring at Ziva and Ziva staring out the window.

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The compound was nothing like Ziva expected. What she thought would be dusty tents and unpaved roads was actually cement buildings and concrete roads. It was extremely civilized for a place that Ziva had always remembered as savage and inhumane. She relaxed a little when she saw the normalcy of the people inside. People walking around, sitting outside the rooms on plastic chairs. She immediately tensed back up however when she noticed that there were no other women that she could see besides herself. Special Agent Dunham showed them to their rooms.

"Sorry, but I'm afraid you guys are gonna have to share, we only have two extra rooms for you guys." Dunham said.

Gibbs looked around at his team, lingering his gaze on Ziva who was looking back at him. "David, Dinozzo that room. McGee, your with me."

Ziva wasn't sure whether to be happy or annoyed that she had to be with the senior field agent, but she knew that there was no arguing with the team leader, and she went and dropped her duffle bag in the room. To Ziva's disappointment, the room had one bed.

Tony glanced over at his partner, trying to get into her head. "Guess we're sharing." He said with a half chuckle, trying to lighten the mood.

Ziva didn't pay attention to him. She just stared straight ahead. Her vision was glazed over and her face was blank. She looked almost lifeless.

"Dinozzo," Gibbs poked his head into the room, "come here."

Tony reluctantly walked out of the room and followed his team leader into the hallway.

"What's up, Boss?"

Gibbs looked at Tony, giving him one of his famous Gibbs stares. "I want you to keep an eye on her, at least for a little while. If anything seems off more than usual you tell me ... and _only_ me."

"Yeah Boss. The thing is, I don't know whats off more than usual. She is clearly not sleeping, she barely looks at any of us anymore, and she won't let anyone get near her. I don't know how to help her." Gibbs looked at his agent, his eyes flicking between Tony and the closed door behind him.

"Give her time, Tony. She'll open up to you." He said, giving him a pat on the shoulder. "Get some rest. We start working first thing tomorrow."

Tony nodded, relieved that he was going to be allowed to adjust to the time before begging the case.

When he got back into the room, Ziva was already under the covers and asleep. Tony smiled at the sight. For the first time in a while, she looked so peaceful Little did he know the demons that were filling her head.

**So there it is!**

**Keep reading if you want to know what happens!  
REVIEWREVIEWREVIEW  
Love you all 3 I'm so happy that you guys like my story! It really means the world to me when you tell me what you think!**

**Xo  
Alex**


	10. Dreams

_"You'll have to kill me." A weak, tired Ziva David said as she tried to struggle against the ropes that bound her to her chair._

_A cruel, heartless laugh, "Believe me, Ms. David I want you dead just as much as you do." Saleem circled her, holding a rusted knife in his hand. Then suddenly, he pounced, grabbing her by the hair and jerking her head back. He put the knife to her throat. "I could do it, you know. I could end it all now. But you know I won't. Not until I get what I want. As I have said before, Ms. David, everyone has their breaking point. No one can last forever." He let go of her hair. "And trust me, Ms. David, I have ways of getting what I want."_

_A shiver went down Ziva's spine when he saw the look in his eyes. She had seen that look before, and it never meant anything good. Saleem slowly walked towards her until he was standing right over her. He leaned down until his face was level with hers. "So many ways to get what I want." Ziva froze. He started leaning in, kissing the top of her head, and then her nose, until he finally reached her mouth. His hand began to move up her stomach. Ziva's breathing quickened, she shut her eyes. She tried to pretend she was somewhere else, tried picturing places and people. But she had lost too much. This was her reality now, it was all she knew. Saleem snapped her out of her thoughts. She felt him push her to the ground, pinning her arms and legs down. She felt the heat of his body against hers, and felt every sickening inch of him on top of her. She tried to keep the a from escaping her lips, but as he continued it became to hard. A soft whimper slipped out._

_Saleem smiled viciously, and continued to kiss her. This was the first out of many times that Ziva David was raped._

"Zi, Ziva! Come on Zi." Something pulled her out of her dreams. She stiffened when she felt someone holding her arms, trying to wake her. She began to fight against whoever it was. A cry escaped her lips as she tried desperately to get out of the grip that held her.

"Ziva!" Her eyes snapped open, but they weren't really focused on anything. They were wild and terrified. When she was fully awake, Tony watched as the light again died from her beautiful brown eyes. She shook her head slightly before slipping out of his arms. "Ziva, what happened?"

She wouldn't look at him, her dead eyes stayed fixed on the sheets of their bed. "I am so sorry, Tony." She said, a few tears escaping onto her cheek. Tony's heart dropped to his stomach. He tried pulling her back into his arms, but she flinched and jerked away from his touch. Tony felt the tears begging to form in his own eyes.

"What did you see, Ziva?" A flash of fear went through her eyes and her body once again stiffened, but she didn't answer him. "Ziva, please. Let me help you." She finally looked up at him sadly. She let out a little sigh before beginning to speak.

"I see ..." She stopped, her bottom lip begging to tremble, "I see Somalia. I see the camp. I see the things that they ... did to me." Tears again began to fall onto her cheek as she desperately tried to wipe them away.

Tony's eyes widened. _Does she mean ... no. NO. She can't mean that. ANYTHING but that._ But he had to ask, the idea was in his head and he had to know. "Ziva, did the rape you?" Ziva looked at him, panic flashing through her tear streaked eyes. Then, all of a sudden, her body relaxed. She was giving up.

"Yes."

Yes. Tony got out of the bed. And walked to the farthest wall. He wanted to hit something, to scream. He wanted to run and never stop. He heard Ziva's uneven breath behind him, almost could feel the sorrow and tears that wracked every inch of her.

"Tony ... please. Look at me." He didn't move. He didn't say anything. He just stood there, staring at the wall. "Tony ... you are scaring me. Please." She was begging him now, he felt a hand reach out and touch his shoulder, but he pushed it off. Ziva sunk to her knees.

_This is all my fault_. She thought. _He is mad at me. How could anyone care for someone as fucked up as I am?_ She didn't try control the sobs that escaped her. She just sat there behind him, too grief stricken to do anything but cry.

Tony finally turned to meet her. He knelt down next to her and again tried to pull her into his arms. She didn't protest this time, letting her hands grasp his t-shirt and her head fall to his chest. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry!" Ziva said between sobs. Tony's heart broke again.

"Oh Zi," He said, feeling the tears begin to fall from his own eyes, "you have nothing to be sorry about."

But still, she sat there, whispering "I'm sorry." And all Tony could do was hold her until finally, he felt her fall asleep in his arms.

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After laying Ziva down in their bed, Tony walked down the hall to Gibbs and McGee's room. He opened the door, quietly waking Gibbs up.

"You better have a damn good reason for waking me up at two in the morning, Dinozzo." Tony just looked at him. That's when Gibbs saw the tear streaks on his cheeks and the terrified and broken look in his eyes. "What happened, Tony?" He whispered softly.

"She had a ... dream." Gibbs looked at him, carefully studying the expression on his face.

"But that's not why you called me out here. Whats on your mind?" Gibbs knew Tony. He knew the way he thought.

"She was raped, boss." Gibbs watched as Tony's eyes sunk to the floor, as he tried to hide the tears that began to escape down his cheeks. "She kept saying that she was sorry, like it was her fault. How could I have let this happen to her?"

Gibbs slapped Tony on the back of the head. "Stop it. This is _not_ your fault any more than it is hers, do you hear me?" Gibbs' voice was serious, his eyes were stern.

"Boss, I can't do this." Tony said, "I can't watch her die a little in front of me every time she tries to open up. I don't have it in me, and neither does she."

Gibbs looked at him, for the first time unsure of what to say. "But you have to, Tony. You have to find that strength for both of you. If you don't, we may loose her forever." Tony just nodded his head, "Get some sleep, we have a big day tomorrow." Again, Tony nodded and went back to his room. Sleep did not come easily to him.

**Hope you like it!  
****This is one of my favorite chapters I have written so far ... tomorrow you will get to meet our victims!  
****I will leave you with a poem:**

**Roses are red,  
Violets are blue,  
If you want me to write more,  
then please REVIEW!**

**Xo!  
Alex**


	11. Conditions

Ziva woke up early the next morning, trying to avoid as much contact with Tony as possible. She was not only embarrassed about what had happened, but scared of how the to of them would interact. So, while he was still asleep, Ziva crept out of the room and went downstairs. The coolness of the early morning felt nice and Ziva felt herself relax as she began to walk around the compound. She wasn't really thinking about anything in particular, something that for her was incredibly comforting.

At around five in the morning, Tony woke up. He looked around, hoping to find Ziva next to him, but instead found an empty space where she had slept. Tony got dressed and went downstairs. As he walked out into the early morning sun, he spotted her a little ways from their building. "Hey Zi!" He called out, "Wait up!" Ziva turned when she heard her name called.

_Damnit_. She thought to herself. Tony almost sprinted to meet her, hoping that she would be as happy to see him as he was to see her. But, to his dismay when he finally caught up to her, Ziva's face was blank. "Hey Zi." He said, trying to sound happy.

"Hello." She said back. She was quiet, sort of distant. Her eyes were on him, but she she didn't really _see_ him.

They both just stood there, watching each other. Neither of them were sure what to say, so they didn't say anything. When Gibbs and McGee finally met them downstairs, they were both relieved. However, that relief was quickly replaced by fear when Ziva realized what the events of that day would be. The four of them piled into a car and drove to the hospital where the Lieutenant and her daughter were being treated.

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The waiting room at the hotel was almost empty except for a few scattered people. The room was dead. No one spoke except for the occasional nurse who would call out a visitor's name. The team was finally called after fifteen minutes of sitting in uncomfortable plastic chairs.

"Hello, I am Dr. Ghedi. I have been watching over Lieutenant Evans and her daughter." Ziva immediately noticed the exhaustion that consumed the doctor's features. He was tall, skinny man with little hair and round glasses. "If you would please follow me, I will show you to them." Dr. Ghedi turned on his heels as the team followed them. He stopped outside Ltt. Macy's room, turning back to the team. "Ltt. Macy was found malnourished, but with little physical abuse. Her daughter on the other hand was not so lucky. We believe that they used her to try and get information out of her found evidence of burns, cuts, scarring, bones that healed incorrectly ..."

Gibbs was barely paying attention what the doctor was saying, his eyes were fixed Ziva. Her hands were shaking slightly and her eyes were shifting back and forth between the doctor and the floor. He saw a flash of despair move through her eyes as she listened to the extent of the girl's injuries.

"The Lieutenant is willing to talk, however I would advise no more than one person at a time in her room." The doctor hesitated, "Hannah ... she will not talk to a male. She has barely let me in her room throughout the extent of her stay." He turned to Ziva, "I will show you to her room when you are ready, but I must warn you ... she is in bad shape." Ziva just looked at him, panic begging to rise in her. _I have to talk to her alone?_ Her eyes flicked to Gibbs who was watching her intently. He just nodded at her. She took a deep breath as she noted her boss's calmness. He was trying to tell her she could do this.

"McGee, talk to the Lieutenant. David, her daughter. Dinozzo, come with me." The team split up.

Ziva followed the doctor to Hanna Evans' room. He stopped outside. "I cannot come in with you, she has extremely bad Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Walk in slowly, do not touch her unless absolutely necessary and-"

"Doctor," Ziva interrupted him, "perhaps you do not remember me, but I was your patient three years ago. I know how to act around people with PTSD. I had it."

The doctor's eyes began to widen, "Ziva." He whispered, "How have you been?" Ziva forced a small smile on her face.

"I have been worse." Dr. Ghedi nodded, understanding how difficult it must have been for her to return.

"I must go," He said as he turned to leave. Something stopped him in his tracks, he turned back to face Ziva, "Good luck." He said quietly. Ziva gave him a shaky smile, and turned the knob to enter Hannah's room.

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Tony was exhausted, both physically and mentally. The events of last night came fludding back to him the moment he saw Ziva's reaction to the news about the condition of the two victims. He was angry. At Saleem for _everything,_ at Gibbs for letting her come, and even at Ziva for deciding to come. But most of all, he was angry at himself. He reacted poorly to her response. He was too shocked and afraid to do anything else. But, what he hated the most is that when she tried to reach out to him, he pushed her away. Tony felt numb. He didn't want to talk to Gibbs, but he knew that he would have to sooner or later.

For now though, they walked quietly to the cafeteria, neither of them saying a word. Every once and a while, Gibbs would flick his eyes over to the senior field agent. Last night had obviously taken a toll on him, but how much he wasn't sure.

"Dinozzo." Tony looked over at his boss. "Go back to the compound. Dunham is waiting downstairs to take you. Get some rest."

Tony just nodded, not really wanting to say anything. He felt dull, like he had no emotions whatsoever. He didn't want to smile or laugh. He didn't have the energy to. And he definitely didn't have the energy to argue. So, he just went downstairs and did as he was told.

When he was finally back to the compound, all he could think of doing was sleeping. He lay down in bed, and let the darkness consume him.

**Hope you like it!  
****I thought it would be kind of cool to have Dr. Ghedi be Ziva's old doctor also  
****what do you think?**

**I will have more up SOON!  
****I love all the reviews this story has been getting ... please keep it up!  
****Who knows, maybe i'll write you guys another poem (;  
****Xo  
****Alex**


	12. Smile

"Ltt. Evans?" a very scared McGee quietly called into the room. He wasn't exactly sure what to expect. He had heard more about Hannah than about the Lieutenant herself.

What he found, was a very thin, very tired frame of a women laying where Macy Evans should have been. Timothy McGee looked down at his feet and stood in the doorway.

"You can come in, I won't bite." The Lieutenant mused. _At least she has a sense of humor_. McGee thought.

"How are you?" McGee asked tentatively.

"I have been better ..." Ltt. Evans started, "But, I have also been worse."

McGee nodded, "I'm Agent Timothy McGee, NCIS. We have come to ask a few questions about ..." He trailed off. He didn't want to upset her any more than he had to. He suddenly realized how formal he was coming off.

"Somalia, Agent McGee. You can say it. I don't mind." Ltt. Evans kept a spark in her voice, but the smile was gone. She was trying to be strong, trying to push herself. McGee knew. He had seen the same reaction from Ziva when she first came back.

"Do you feel up to talking?" McGee asked. He knew better than to try and baby her. It would only make her angry.

Ltt. Evans frowned a little, "Not right now," She said, "another time. I can't think about all of that though, not yet."

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The second Ziva entered the room, she immediately wished she hadn't. Hannah Evans looked (for lack of a better term) awful. Her face was bruised and one of her eyes were swollen shut, it seemed that every inch of her skin was covered with a cut of a bruise or some other form of torture. Ziva wanted to look away. It was like looking back on herself three years ago. Hannah was asleep, so she thought that maybe if she left quietly she wouldn't notice her. Ziva turned, and silently tried to make her way back to the door.

"Don't go..." A faint, raspy voice came from the bed. Ziva turned to look at the abused girl. She was trying to sit up, but her broken arm made it hard for her to prop herself up. Ziva was about to lean in to help her when she remembered what Dr. Ghedi had said. Instead, Ziva pulled up a chair and sat next to Hannah's bed. When she had successfully sat herself upright, Hannah looked at Ziva with her one good eye. "Who are you?" Her voice was nothing more than a whisper.

"Agent Ziva David, NCIS." Ziva said, showing Hannah her badge.

Hannah turned her head away from Ziva, "You want to know what happened, don't you?"

"Yes." She nodded. Ziva was shaking. She wasn't scared of the girl, but rather the story she would tell.

Hannah looked back at Ziva, eyes glistening with un-shed tears, "What does it matter to you?" Her voice was trembling, "You'll listen to it, feel bad for me, but then won't think about it again. You don't understand what its like to be in a place like that. No one does."

Ziva watched as Hannah broke down, watched as the tears began to fall onto the thin hospital sheets that covered her legs. She wanted to help her, to explain, but her voice wouldn't come. So instead, Ziva slowly brought a hand to her shoulder. Hannah flinched, a small gasp escaped from her mouth, but she didn't pull away. She relaxed a little as she realized that the person touching her meant her no harm. That Ziva meant her no harm. But still, she cried, for herself, for her mother, for what she had lost, for _everything_. And all Ziva could do, was sit.

"Trust me, Hannah." Ziva finally said, "I understand more than you know."

Hannah looked at her, "What do you mean?" She asked between small sobs.

Ziva took a deep breath and began to play with the left sleeve of her shirt. _Am I really going to do this?_ She asked herself. Before she could answer her own question, she rolled up one sleeve and brought her arm up into the light. Hannah didn't say anything. She reached out her good hand to touch the scars that marred Ziva's olive skin. Ziva pulled her arm back before Hannah had even touched it.

"W-When?" Hannah said.

"Three years ago." Ziva whispered. "Before coming to NCIS, I was a Mossad officer. I was sent on a ... mission. If it weren't for this team, I would not have made it out alive. I spent three months in a Somalian terrorist cell. So trust me, I do understand. I understand all of it, the pain, the fear, everything." Ziva stopped herself from going on. She wasn't ready to share everything with the girl, not yet.

Hannah just looked at her. Unsure of what to say, how to react. So instead, she put out a hand and placed it lightly on Ziva's shoulder. She was returning the gesture. Ziva smiled at the fifteen year old. And for the first time in over a month, Hannah smiled back.

**I'm thinking I'm going to make the bond between Ziva and Hannah strong ...  
****Of COURSE Tony is going to be there for her, but I think Ziva needs someone else who understands what she went through!  
****What do you think so far?**

**As promised another poem!  
Heres something new!  
A poem for you!  
Hope you like it  
Please review?  
3  
Xo,  
Alex**


	13. Simple Question

When Ziva finally walked out of Hannah's room, she found McGee already sitting in the hall waiting. She looked tired, McGee noted. Not as in she didn't get enough sleep (although he noticed that also), but just drained emotionally. Her eyes were dull, and lifeless. Come to think of it, everything about her seemed pretty lifeless. McGee watched her walk slowly over to where he was sitting.

"Should we go?" She said dismissively. McGee gave her a small, heartbreaking smile.

"Ok." He said simply. He stood up taking a step towards her. Ziva flinched and stepped back, closing her eyes and looking away. She was ashamed.

"I am sorry, McGee." She said, head still bowed.

"Do you know what Gibbs would do if he heard you apologizing?" He was trying to lighten the mood. McGee hating seeing her so down. He was successful, Ziva looked up at him, a small smile spreading across her features.

"This is just hard." She said to him. Ziva trusted McGee. He was one of her closest friends, and he almost always knew the right thing to say. She felt comfortable telling him things.

"I know it is." McGee said, "These things ... they take time, Ziva. You tried too hard for too long to push the memories back, to try and forget. But the thing is, you never really coped. You just tried to get on with life, to readjust." McGee looked at her nervously, he hated confronting her in fear that she would just shut down, put up her wall and try and change the subject. "You know ... you never really talked about what happened."

Ziva didn't react, she had already given up trying to push away the questions. She had stopped last night with Tony. She didn't have the energy anymore to try and put up a wall. She sighed, "I know."

"If you ever need someone to talk to ..." McGee trailed off. Ziva put a hand on his shoulder and smiled at the young agent.

"Thank you, Tim." She said, "But right now we should go. Gibbs will probably kill us both if we keep him waiting any longer, no?" McGee smiled, and nodded.

As they continued walking down the corridor, McGee finally worked up the nerve to ask her a question that he had been wanting to ask for a long time.

"So ..." He started, "are you _ever_ gonna tell Tony?"

Ziva's eyes flicked towards him, "What do you mean?"

McGee rolled his eyes and smiled, "Oh come on, Ziva!" He mused, "Its so obvious that you like him. and to be honest Ziva, I think he likes you too."

Ziva looked mortified. With everything that had recently happened, Ziva hadn't really thought about him. Not that way at least. He was just so ... _Tony_. Loud, and annoying, and goofy, and always quoting movies. But, at the same time those were the things that Ziva loved most about him. She just wasn't sure if _now_ was the right time to be thinking about all this, with everything going on. She didn't need one more thing to make her less emotionally stable than she already was.

"I do not know, McGee." She sighed. McGee looked disappointed, but didn't say anything. "It is just that ... right now things are too hard with him."

"Your being kinda cryptic ..." McGee chuckled. Then suddenly he was serious, "What's too hard with him?"

_I have said too much_. Ziva thought to herself. She began to play with the sleeve of her shirt nervously. "I-I cannot really explain it fully."

McGee looked down at his feet. "Oh ... ok." Ziva hated herself. She hated always leaving Tim out of the loop, especially because she trusted him so much. But she just couldn't revisit the other night. It was too painful.

"Another time, McGee. I promise. Just ... not right now. Ok?" McGee's lips curled into a small smile.

"Whenever your ready, Ziva."

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As McGee and Gibbs chatted about his conversation with Ltt. Evans, Ziva sat in the back silently. Every so often, Gibbs would flick his eyes in the mirror to check and see if she was ok. She was tired, dark circles began to appear underneath her eyes and her eyelids were slow and heavy.

He smiled to himself. It reminded him of a time him and Kelly were coming back from a movie. She had begged him to take her to the nine o'clock showing, promising that she wouldn't be too tired. Gibbs promised her under the condition that she stayed awake the entire car ride home. She didn't, of course. But the memory made him smile anyway.

He knew that there were differences between the state that Kelly and Ziva were in. Kelly was happy, content. Ziva on the other hand was the farthest thing from it. But still, the memory helped him manage seeing her so broken.

Once inside the compound, Gibbs pulled Ziva aside.

"Gibbs, I do not wish to talk," She said tiredly, "I need to go to bed." She was trying to shut the conversation down, but for a moment Gibbs believed her. She was a good liar.

"I won't keep you for long, then." He said. Ziva let out a little sigh, but had no energy to fight. " Did you talk to the girl?"

"Yes."

"Did she give you any useful information?" Ziva thought about that question. It depended what he meant by useful. If he meant to the case then no. But if he meant for her personally, then yes. Knowing Gibbs, he was asking about the case.

"No."

"Are you ok?"

"Yes."

"That was a fast answer."

"Simple question."

Gibbs stared at her, "Haven't we had this conversation before?" He immediately regretted bringing back that memory. Ziva stiffened. The conversation he was referring to was after her apartment had been blown up, the same day that her, Tony, Gibbs, and Vance all got on a plane to go to Israel. Ziva shut her eyes, trying to force another flashback from emerging.

Gibbs reached out a hand to touch her, "Do not." She ordered. Gibbs immediately pulled his hand away. Ziva took a few deep breaths, as the threat of the flashback diminished. She opened her eyes once more.

"Let's try this again, Ziver. Are you ok?"

Ziva stared at him.

"No."

Silence.

"You need to talk?" Gibbs asked her. It was more of a statement than a question. He knew that she _needed_ to, but he doubted she actually would. She wasn't generally known for her openness with others.

Much to Gibbs' expectancy and dismay, Ziva answered 'No'.

"Ok." He said, "Go to bed. I'll see you tomorrow."

Ziva nodded, and headed upstairs to her room. Again, she found that she was chanting to herself _I will not dream. I will not dream. I will not dream..._

**Hope you like it!**

**I don't know if I am going to be able to get a chapter up tomorrow ... I'm going to be on a plane all day!  
Hope you like it (: pretty pleaseeee review! I love you all 3 thanks for the great reviews!  
I have some AWESOME plot twists coming up in future chapters!**

**Xo,  
Alex**


	14. Promise

Tony woke to a whimper and the ruffle of covers next to him. He looked over groggily to see Ziva fighting off the silent attackers in her sleep. Tony immediately snapped out of his haze.

"Come on Zi," He whispered, putting a hand on her arm. "please don't do this." Ziva moaned and pulled away from his touch. But Tony wasn't about to give up.

He grabbed both her arms, tighter this time and sat her upright. He thought about what to do next. He didn't want to shake her, it would only make things worse. Instead, he pulled her into his embrace, stroking her hair. "Ziva, your ok. Its me, Tony." He whispered into her ear. Ziva's head jerked away from the sound as she let out another whimper. She started mumbling things in hebrew and then in english incoherently. Tony tried to piece together what she was saying, but it was impossible.

The dream was worse than the other night, which scared Tony even more. After all ... what could be worse than ...

Ziva began to fight bag against him again, hitting him with her bare fists. Tony took each painful blow. After all, nothing could hurt him more than seeing her like this. It finally became to much for him, and Tony lost his nerve. He started shaking Ziva, lightly at first but when nothing changed harder.

"ZIVA! ZI PLEASE!" He yelled. Ziva's eyes finally opened, and again Tony watched as she struggled to bring herself back to reality. Once her eyes finally focused on him, Tony let go of her and for the second time in two nights left the bed. Ziva stayed behind this time, watching him in a daze.

Ziva's entire body was shaking and her skin was covered in a thin layer of sweat. She looked thinner than usual, and incredibly vulnerable.

"I'm so sorry, Zi." Tony said from the far corner of the room. "I'm so sorry I can't stop this from happening."

"It is not your fault, Tony." She said quietly. "It is I who should be apologizing. I hate myself for putting you through this. I should not have come back."

Tony watched her as she tried desperately to keep herself calm, trying to push away the panic attack that was on the edge of taking control of her. "Do you really think that, Zi?" Tony said sarcastically. "Do you really think you shouldn't have come back?" Tony chuckled bitterly. "The great Ziva David, finally figures out the right answer."

Ziva looked at him, eyes wide with shock. "Tony I-"

"Just stop, Ziva. Do us both a favor and just don't say anything. I can't take any more of your shit right now" Tony didn't mean any of it, but he was too scared to react in any other way. He didn't know what to do, so instead of trying to fix things, he masked his emotions with anger.

Tears started to form in Ziva's eyes, but the sorrow was quickly replaced with rage. Ziva got out of their bed and made her way over to where Tony was standing. With one swift movement, Tony Dinozzo landed with a thud on the floor. Ziva stood over him, breath uneven. It was then that Tony finally realized what he had said. He stood up, cringing as he felt the pain from where he had landed on his side.

"Oh no, Zi I-" Tony stopped. Ziva's breathing had gone from small pants to uncontrollable gasps. She backed into the corner of the room, sinking to the ground. Her eyes were distant and glazed over. She was back in her nightmare.

And Tony had put her there.

Tony didn't move, he couldn't. He hated himself for hurting the woman he loved.

_I love her? Yes ... I love her. I have to help her. No more bullshit._

"T-Tony." He snapped out of his thoughts when he heard her voice. "Tony, p-please." She was delusional, he could see that much. But what he didn't understand was why she was calling out _his_ name.

It didn't matter though, he had to save her from herself. He moved closer to her, once more wrapping his arms around her. Ziva's body was trembling and her shoulders were tense. He could feel the fear the emanated through her body. "Zi, I'm here. Oh God, I'm so sorry Zi." Her body began to relax slowly as he continued to hold her.

"Tony?" She whispered when the nightmare was gone.

"I'm here Zi, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean an-"

"I know." Relief washed over him. He kissed the top of her head, and pulled her in closer. "Please don't let go." She said, grabbing on to his t-shirt.

Tony smiled, "Never, Zi." He said quietly. "I promise."

**Sorry its so late ... with school back in motion I might be a little late with updating!  
****Some sad ... but TIVA! Tony finally realizes his feelings!  
****The next chapter will be more about the case ... but Tiva is gonna be in full swing INCREDIBLY SOON**

**Do I need to even say it anymore?  
Oh well, I will anyways!  
REVIEW LIKE TIVA DEPENDS ON IT (In this story it does :p)**

**No update tomorrow unfortunatley due to Shabbat Shalom being on tomorrow and my feels will be on overload!  
Leave me some nice reviews and I will have more for you ASAP!**

**Have any recomendations or ideas? Always feel free to send them to me! If I use any of them I will put you in my little Author's Note!**

**Xo,  
Alex**


	15. Hannah

Tony woke to find Ziva still wrapped in his arms. He smiled as he felt the warmth of her body against his. _This is how it should be_. Tony thought to himself, _Having her here with me. It feels so right. _His smile quickly faded as he remembered the events of that night. What he said, what he did. He hated himself. If it weren't for his actions, for what he said, none of what happened would have. He vowed that he would never do anything like that to her again.

Tony felt her small frame stir within his arms. Her eyes flutter before finally opening. She looked up at him with dull, dead eyes. Tony wanted to look away, but he didn't want to hurt her. Not again. "Hey, Zi." Tony said, giving her a small smile.

Something flashed through her eyes, and for a moment he saw light. He couldn't read whatever it was, but at the moment he didn't care. For the first time since the whole Somalia ordeal, Tony saw something other than pain and despair. He saw light. It gave him hope for the future.

_Their_ future.

"What time is it?" Ziva yawned, standing up.

"About 5 am." Tony replied, also standing up. He winced as he felt the soar pain in his back. Sleeping in sitting position against a concrete wall wasn't exactly therapeutic, after all.

"We are going to be late for..." Ziva's voice trailed off. She turned to look at Tony. "I can't do this anymore, Tony."

Tony sighed, and pulled her back into his embrace. "Y know, Zi." He whispered, making small circles on her back with his hand. "But you have to try."

Ziva relaxed a little in his embrace. His scent, his feel, his warmth, they all calmed her. She couldn't explain it, but when she was near him it just felt right and easy. Even when they fought, she knew that he would always be there for her.

She finally pulled out of his embrace. "We have to go." Tony nodded, his eyes shining with unspoken words.

Everything was going to change now, Tony could feel it.

They both could.

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Ziva found the walk to Hannah's room a little easier than the last time. She was still scared, but after her heart-to-heart with Tony, everything seemed to be a little less painful. Memories, dreams, even old scars seemed to hurt less.

Unfortunately, Hannah had not been so lucky. As Ziva approached her door, she saw several nurses bustling in and out. She stopped one of them and asked them what had happened.

"The poor girl has nightmares." The Somali nurse said before walking away.

Ziva stood there, stunned. She had hoped more for the girl, hoping that out of all things that at least sleep would stay a safe place.

Ziva sprinted into the door to see the exhausted frame of a girl sitting lying in a hospital bed. Tears were streaming down her face.

"Do they every go away?" Hannah said with a shaky voice. "I don't just mean the dreams, but the memories. Will I every get over it?"

Ziva sighed, and pulled up a chair next to her. "The dreams will become less frequent with time, but the memories will always be there. This is not something you get over, but you will be able to live with it. The burden will become less. I promise."

Hannah nodded, but her body was stiff. She didn't want to say it, but she hated the answer.

"It happened to you too ... didn't it?" She whispered.

"The dreams?" She wasn't quite sure what Hannah was referring to.

Hannah turned for the first time that day to look at her. "No." She said. "They raped you."

Ziva stiffened, her breath caught in her throat, her eyes widened. "H-How ... What makes you thi-"

"I can see it in your eyes." Hannah cut her off. "They broke you."

Ziva didn't respond. Tears started to form in her eyes. She turned away, trying to hide her vulnerability. Hannah reached delicately placed her good hand over Ziva's. Ziva flinched. It took all of her strength not to pull away. She took a few deep breaths, pushed back the tears, and finally turned back to Hannah.

"Why did you do that?" Hannah asked her.

"Do what?"

"Hide."

"I do not know what you are talking about." Ziva whispered. She was smart, Ziva would give her that much.

"Don't lie to me." Hannah said firmly. "Your emotions, your feelings, your _weaknesses_."

Ziva shrugged, "In Mossad I was taught that emotions were a sign of weakness."

Hannah studied her face, "But that's not all of it." She finally said. "You don't want to hurt people, or maybe its the other way around. But either way, you hide so that you can detach from people, so that you can avoid the pain."

Silence. Ziva was stunned. Here was this fifteen year old girl, who Ziva barely knew telling her what it had taken Ziva _years_ to figure out.

"But, pain is apart of life, because without pain, how would you be able to know what true joy was?" Hannah watched Ziva once more. "Give me a hint, Special Agent David. Am I close?"

"It is Ziva." She mused. "But yes. You are."

Hannah lay back in the hospital bed, seeming content with Ziva's response. But Ziva still had questions.

"How did you know all of that?"

Hannah's face clouded, "At the camp I needed something to distract myself when they were..." She paused. "I would try and read into what they were thinking, try and see it from their point of view. It probably wasn't the best idea, because by the time Mom and I were found, I hated myself, but it kept me busy."

Ziva smiled, "You are very good." She said.

"Yeah ..." Hannah said flatly. "I guess I am."

Ziva watched as the young girls eyes began to get heavy. "You can go now." She said softly.

Ziva nodded, and began to walk towards the door. Before leaving, she turned back to Hannah, and whispered to herself "Please do not dream."

**Sorry its so late! With school I have been a little overwhelmed**

**Also Shabbat Shalom has killed all my feels and left me to cry for all of eternity.  
I can't even right now you guys. Ziva's scream ... like I'm haunted for life. Its to much**

**REVIEW PRETTY PLEASE!**

**Xo,  
Alex**


	16. Too Soon

McGee and Gibbs got ready in silence that morning, which Tim was not surprised by. His leader wasn't exactly one for small talk, but something was plaguing him, and he had to get it out.

"Boss," Gibbs turned to face McGee, his ice blue eyes watching him carefully. "Ziva ... she's not ok."

"Well yeah, McGee. You think I don't know that?" Gibbs said, his voice filled with annoyance.

"No ... you don't understand. When I talked to her the other day ... she said that her and Tony had some sort of ... moment. Something that she said made things hard between the two of them?" McGee saw a spark of something in their mysterious leader's eyes. _He knows._ He thought to himself. "Gibbs, what aren't guys telling me?"

Gibbs sighed. "Not now, Tim. When the time is right, you will know. But-"

"Yeah, I got it." Time interrupted. He was angry, upset, but most of all hurt. The fact that his entire team was hiding something from him made him feel betrayed and unwanted.

"Hey, Tim." McGee turned back to Gibbs. "She doesn't know I know. Only Tony is supposed to. I'm not just doing this to protect her ... its for you too. Trust me, you are better off not knowing." McGee nodded stiffly and made his way out the door.

Gibbs watched the youngest agent leave the room. He hated hiding things from him, and for some reason it always seemed to be McGee that was left out of the loop. But he couldn't tell him. Not only because it would hurt Ziva, but because he didn't have the strength to. Gibbs hated to admit it, but he was drained after seeing Ziva so broken. She wan't being herself, and as much as she tried to pull herself together, he could see her slipping away from them more and more everyday. He was loosing her.

They all were.

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"Ltt. Evans," McGee whispered as he entered the room. The Lieutenant's eyes opened slowly. She blinked a few times as her eyes adjusted to the hospital room's light.

"Agent McGee." She smiled. "Please come in."

McGee didn't move. He just stood in the doorway, looking at Ltt. Evans. She looked back at him. McGee had to get information out of her. Not only because he wanted to get the hell out of Somalia, but also because he was sick of secrets being kept from him.

Evans sighed, "Alright." She said. "I will tell you what you need to know."

McGee slowly walked into the room and pulled up a chair next to the Lieutenant's bed.

"I don't need the whole story." McGee said quietly. "I just need something ... _anything_."

She nodded, and began her story. "I had just gone to bed. I heard something outside my room and I got up to see what it was. Three men, one of which had a gun to my daughter's head, told me that if I didn't come with them that Hannah would pay the price. I tried everything, but Hannah was crying and the men were getting impatient and anxious. One of them hit Hannah and she fell to the ground. I ran to try and help her, but someone hit me in the back of the head. The next thing I remember is waking up in a terrorist cell." She stopped, closing her eyes as a few tears slipped from them. She wiped them away.

McGee sat there. His anger was gone, all the was left was guilt. He had pushed too hard, too soon. He thought back to when they had first rescued Ziva. She didn't talk for _weeks_, and even then she left things out. Its been three years and she _still_ hadn't told them everything. The Lieutenant had been back for a few days, a week at most. How could he have expected her to talk?

McGee sighed, "I'm sorry." He said quietly. "I shouldn't ha-"

"No." Ltt. Evans said. "No, I'm glad you did. I can't keep it inside forever."

McGee nodded, and stood up to leave. "Agent McGee," He turned to meet her gaze, "do me one favor. Don't make Hannah talk. They brutalized her, sure I got a few scratches ... but they used her to get information out of me. I watched day after day as those men ..." She put a hand over her mouth to try and stop the sobs that were so close to escaping. "Just please, _please_ don't make her talk. Not yet."

**My dear readers! I am so sorry for my late update ...  
I lost internet for a day and then I had play practice and too many Shabbat Shalom and Shiva feels to do anything!  
I promise you that I will have more up as soon as I can!  
I hope you like this chapter!  
And all you McGee fans out there, don't worry! He won't always feel out of place!**

**Everything is going to begin falling into place (:**

**I doubt I even have to say this ... becauseyou guys know what its going to be.**

**But prettyy pleaseeeeeee review! Maybe if you do I will stop thinking about Tony waking Ziva up from a nightmare IN HIS BED in the thirty second promo and get back to the real world ...**

but probably not :P

**Love you all!**

**Xo**

**Alex**


	17. Better

The team drove back to the compound in stiff silence. Both McGee and Ziva had their minds on the conversations they had, while Gibbs and Tony's minds were merely blank.

Ziva hated silence. It reminded her too much of being alone in her cell during those few moments of the day that she was not being tortured for information. If the abuse was bad, the dreams that came to her when she was alone had been far worse. She saw things that she could not explain, things that drove her to the brink of insanity. People morphing to animals, peaceful things turning to horror, but worst of all her team. She saw Gibbs, Abby, McGee, Ducky, Tony, even _Palmer_. She saw them being brutally beaten because she would not talk. She saw them killed and brutalized in ways far worse than she had been. The pain, even the rape she could handle. But the dreams? They destroyed her.

She never told anyone about them. She never saw a point. Her team couldn't save her from the demons inside her head. No one could.

Tony glanced over at the Israeli woman to see her lost in thought. Her clouded brown eyes were fixed on the floor, and her face had a blank, lost expression on it. He sighed, and put one had on hers. She stiffened, but to his surprise did not jerk away. Ziva let her gaze meet his. She smiled at him, one of her breathtakingly lost, sad smiles. Tony gave her hand a small squeeze and smiled back. Neither of them said anything. They didn't have to.

Gibbs looked in his rear view mirror at the two of them. His hand on hers, her sad smile, he could tell that things between them wouldn't always be as hard as they were right now. He glanced over to the shotgun seat at McGee. His eyes were glaring straight ahead at the road, his face contorted with anger and frustration. Gibbs sighed. He knew that he couldn't help the youngest agent. All he could do was hope that sooner or later he would understand.

McGee's anger had subsided until he saw the rest of his team again. He didn't want to feel such frustration towards them, but he couldn't help it. He felt betrayed, and what hurt him more is that his team was like a family. He felt useless. He couldn't help any of them, especially Ziva. But how could he? None of them trusted him.

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"So ... how did it go today?" Tony said once him and Ziva were back in their room.

Ziva didn't look at him. She continued to brush her hair. "Fine." She said flatly.

Tony sighed. She was doing it again. Trying to shut him out. "Zi, come on." He whispered. Ziva stopped and put the brush down next to her on the bed.

She lay back, her loose curls falling delicately around her face. "To be in a room with her," She paused, "it is like looking back on me after..."

Tony couldn't help but let his thoughts overcome him for a moment. Laying there, her curls spilling over her shoulders, she looked so perfect. However, the moment she started to talk, he no longer saw anything but pain. "Was she... what happened to her?"

Ziva closed her eyes, a frown taking over her features. "More than any person should have to go through." The answer - though vague - was everything he needed to know. He nodded, and came and sat down next to her on the bed, lying back.

"Do you ever think about your father, Tony?" The question took him by surprise.

"W-well ... I ... I mean ... yeah. Sure." He stammered to answer her. It was no secret that Tony Dinozzo Snr. and Jr. did not see eye to eye. "Why?"

Ziva opened her chocolate eyes and flicked them in Tony's direction. "Because, you never talk about him."

"Well you never talk about your dad." He said back. Ziva stiffened. _Damnit_. Tony thought to himself. After that fateful summer, Eli and Ziva David were not exactly on good terms. The memory of her father was painful, and Tony knew it.

"You are right, Tony." Ziva sighed, "I do not." She sat up and looked down into his emerald eyes. "It is not something I am proud of, but things are... complicated I suppose. The problems between my father and I started long before ... Somalia."

Tony also sat up, "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Ziva gave him a sly smile, "Do you want to talk about your father?"

"Point taken." Tony chuckled. "But I know I should."

Ziva nodded stiffly, "As should I." She said quietly. "Do you keep in touch with your father?"

"I don't know, Zi. I mean every once and a while the two of us will make an effort, but I'm tired of always being the one to keep the relationship from falling apart. Plus, he isn't exactly the easiest person to have around. Senior ... well ... he plays by his own rules."

"I know how that feels." Ziva said. "When I was thirteen, Eli used to leave for long periods of time. Being the director of Mossad, he was barely ever home, and when he was he was always too angry or tired to pay any attention to us. Tali was the only one out of the three of us that tried to reach out to him, but he never tried to keep in touch with any of us. From a very young age, Ari had to become a father figure."

Tony tensed when he heard her half-brother's name. Ziva noticed. "I know you will never understand, Tony. But at least _try_ to see that he was not always bad."

"Its just too hard, Zi. He killed someone who was like a sister to me."

"I know, Tony. But he is dead." _And I killed him_. Ziva wanted to say.

Tony forced his shoulders to relax a little. "I wish it were that easy, Zi. I wish I could just walk away. But no matter how hard I try, I can never forget."

"I am not asking you to forget, Tony." Ziva said, her voice calm but firm. "Merely to try and understand things from my point of rue."

Tony cringed slightly as she messed up another idiom. "It is view, Ziva. Not rue." He smiled, pushing away a few loose strands of hair from her forehead. "And alright, I'll try."

Ziva smiled at him, and leaned her head against his shoulder. Tony felt her small frame relax instantly. He too felt comfort in having her near. "Things are going to get better, are they not?" Ziva whispered.

Tony smiled, and stroked her hair softly. "Yeah, Zi. I think they are."

**Who doesn't love some good Tiva?  
****I was feeling in the tiva mood! (:**

**As you can see, things are already starting to look better for our two star crossed lovers, and Gibbs is starting to step foot into the realm of Tiva!  
Hope you enjoy (:**

**Review review REVIEW! Send me ideas or thoughts (:  
Also sorry for not responding to recent reviews ... please know that I read each and every one of them and I love you all (: I will start answering them again!  
XO,**

**Alex**


	18. Vow

_White, hot pain. Its all Ziva could feel. It overwhelmed her, making it impossible to do anything. The clatter of steel hitting the ground. Most likely the pipe that had been used to beat her. A strong hand pulling her up by her neck._

_"Why do you wish to suffer?" Saleem's heavily accented voice rang in her ears. He cackled wickedly before once again letter her body slump to the floor. "It really is a shame, Ms. David. A shame that we had to be born on opposite sides." Ziva could hardly focus, but his words echoed hollowly in her head. "Together, we could have been great."_

_Saleem pulled something out of his back pocket, and played with it. Ziva strained to see what it was, but her eyes wouldn't focus. A glint of something gold flashed from between his dirty hands. "So tell me, Ziva. Why is it that you stay silent?" She could feel his breath on her face. She mustered up the last of the energy that she had, and spit._

_Saleem jumped back, wiping his hand across his face. Ziva let a small smile form on her face, but the smile did not last. She felt a hand slap across her already bruised face. "Israeli whore." he sneered._

_"You do know what we-_

"Come on, Zi! Wake up!" An outside voice jolted her from her dream. Tony let the overwhelming feeling of helplessness wash over him as he watched Ziva struggle to redeem full consciousness.

When she finally had, she did something he didn't expect. Instead of pulling away, Ziva David let her head fall to his chest and her arms wrap around his waist. Without hesitation, Tony hugged back. He felt a damp spot forming on his t-shirt. _She's crying_. He thought to himself sadly, but decided not to address it. He knew how she got about showing vulnerability. Instead, he traced soothing circles with his fingers on her back. A few minutes later, Ziva lifted her head off of his chest, tear streaks still visible on her cheeks.

"I thought this was supposed to get easier." She said sadly.

Tony felt his chest tighten at the sound of her voice. She sounded so helpless and vulnerable. "It's gonna take time, Zi."

"But it should not take this much!" Ziva didn't just mean time, though. She meant energy, and emotion, and suffereing. She hated feeling so vulnerable and helpless. She wanted it to stop. She would rather feel nothing than all of this.

Tony wan't sure what to say, so instead he pulled her back into his embrace, and just held her. "I cannot do this anymore, Tony. I cannot act like everything is ok when it is not, and most of all I can _not_ keep everything to myself anymore."

"You can talk to me, Zi." Tony said, still holding her close. "I'm always here for you."

"Tony, I cannot put that much pressure on you. The things that I have kept inside are ... I do not think you would be able to handle it all." Tony sighed. She was referring to the way he had acted in the past, and as much as he hated to admit it, she was probably right.

"What do you need, Zi?" He whispered into her hair.

There was a long pause before Ziva finally answered. "Anything is better than this, Tony. I do not care what. I jut cannot feel this way anymore."

Tony didn't say anything, he just held her. At that moment, he made a vow to himself.

He would stop her pain.

**Sorry for the short chapter!**

**Tiva is heatin up you guys!**

**REview pretty please (:**

**Xoxoxoxoxoox**

**Alex**


	19. Run

Ziva didn't sleep that night. Not out of fear, but rather frustration that the nightmare would return. She was upset that she couldn't push them back, that she was showing so much vulnerability.

At around 3 am, she was got up out of bed, bored of trying to sleep. Ziva put on a pair of leggings, a sweatshirt and a tank top, and a pair of running sneakers. Running had always helped clear Ziva's mind, and had become an activity that she looked forward to doing. Since her return to Somalia, however, there had not been enough time.

The cool morning air instantly relaxed Ziva, as she picked up a steady pace. The compound was not very large, so she did six or seven laps before being satisfied. About half-way through, Ziva took off her sweatshirt, leaving only a tank-top to cover her scarred skin. However, it was too early for anyone to be up, and her team would not be awake for around another hour, so she was not afraid to reveal her marred skin. She felt free for the first time since her return. Free from judgment or memories. Her mind was blank and carefree, and she felt a large burden taken off her shoulders. The only thing that she focused on was the steady rhythm of her feet.

Ziva had missed the burning sensation in her lungs that came when she began to slow down, and it came as a great comfort to her as it returned. It was a feeling of accomplishment and normalcy that had long been missing from her life. After she caught her breath, she began to walk back to her room.

Two flights of stairs and a hallway later, Ziva was at her door. She opened it to practically collide into Tony, whose hand was reaching for the door knob. For a moment, Ziva smiled at him. It was not until she noticed the look of pure horror and pain in his eyes that she remembered. She was only in a tank top. She was completely exposed.

"Oh no." she gasped, eyes wide. Ziva pushed passed him, walking into the far corner of her room. Her shaking hands fumbled as she desperately tried to untangle her sweatshirt and wrap it around her shoulders. A feeling of panic quickly rose in Ziva's stomach as she felt Tony's gaze on her scarred back. A hand came out a reached for her shoulder, but Ziva pushed it away and continued to try and untangle the sweatshirt.

"Zi …" Tony whispered, hurt evident in his voice. "Stop."

To Tony's surprise, Ziva stood still, the only movement left was the panting of her panicked breath. She sunk to her knees, dropping the sweatshirt at her side. Tony knelt down next to her, trying to pull her into his arms. Ziva once again pushed him away. She hated the feeling of his hands on her marred skin. It made her feel weak.

"_No!_" She said firmly, standing up and walking away. Tony stood as well, following her the opposite side of the small room.

"Zi, talk to m-"

"I said _no_, Tony." She turned to face him. Tony studied her face, trying to read the expression that dominated her gorgeous features.

Besides the tear stains that ran down her cheeks, there was a mixture of so many things. Pain, fear, anger, frustration, horror, dismay, but most of all agony. Pure, utter agony. It killed Tony. He wanted to get through to her, to make her see that he loved her, but how? How could he make it clear that he cared?

"I don't mind the scars, Zi."

Silence.

Ziva looked at him, shock now overriding any other emotion. She didn't understand how anyone could overlook the scars that flawed her olive skin. To her, they are what defined her. Every time she looked in a mirror or tried on a dress of a shirt or a pair of shorts, they were all that she saw. During her time in Mossad, she was taught to use her body the same way that she was taught to use a gun, as a weapon. She was an attractive woman, and sleeping with men for information was a valuable tool. She felt ugly, which made her feel weak. She hated her looks, so she hid them, assuming that everyone else would as well.

"Do not lie to me, Anthony Dinozzo." Ziva snapped angrily, "_Look_ at me, Tony. I'm so … _ugly._ How can you _not_ mind? How can you bare the sight of me like this? I do not understand." Her voice grew soft, and she turned her head away from him, too ashamed to look at him any longer.

It was now Tony's turn to be shocked. "Is that really what you think about yourself, Zi?"

"Yes."

"Oh, Zi. I wish you could see what I see." Tony walked over and once again tried to pull her into his arms. This time, she didn't push him away. He pulled one of her hands into his, and stroked his thumb softly on hers.

"What do you see?" Ziva mumbled into his chest. He smiled. _Now's my chance_.

"I see…" He stopped … where did he begin? There was so much that he wanted to say, so where did he start? "I see the strongest, most amazing, beautiful woman that I have ever met. I see someone who is kind and wise and funny. I see someone who knows me better than anyone else, and who I feel comfortable with. I see s that I lo-" He stopped himself. She wasn't ready, not yet. "That I care about. I see _you_, Ziva David. Not scars, or weakness, or the dullness that has recently taken over the usual gorgeous spark in your eyes. I see the good in you, the beauty. I see you."

Ziva looked up at him, tears once again filling her eyes. But there was something different this time. Her eyes were alive, their usual light filling them once more, and Tony didn't see agony, he saw joy.

For the first time since her return back to Somalia, she didn't feel horror or pain.

Ziva David felt passion.

"Tony, I lo-" She stopped herself.

Tony felt his heart skip a beat. He leaned his forehead against hers. "Say it, Zi. Please." He whispered softly.

Ziva took a deep breath, letting herself relax. She closed her eyes. "I love you, Tony." A small smile formed on both of their lips.

"Oh Zi." Tony said, tears forming in his eyes. "I love you too."

So, that's how they stood, foreheads touching, hands intertwined, smiling. Two people, one life.

One love.

**SO THERE IT IS!  
my big tiva chapter!  
What do you think?  
Unfortunatley, Ziva's problems aren't over quite yet, but things are definatley about to change for the two of them.  
How, you may ask?  
Well.. you are just gonna have to keep reading!  
I really hope this was worth the wait (which by the way I'm so sorry about … I promise I won't take as long next time!)  
REVIEWREVIEWREVIEW!  
I love you all to the moon and back 3  
Xo,**

**Alex**


	20. Ullman

"Something's changed." The ever-perceptive Hannah gazed suspiciously at Ziva. "You're … happier. Less tense."

Ziva smiled, thinking back to the events of that morning. _He loves me_. "Yes, something has changed."

Hannah looked at her, tilting her head slightly to the side. Hannah had grown quite fond of the agent, and thought of her almost as a sister. She understood Ziva. "Are you gonna tell me what that is?"

Ziva shook her head slightly. "Another time." Her smile faded. "For now … I need to ask you some questions."

Hannah stiffened slightly, sorrow clouding her eyes. "Ask." She said bluntly.

Ziva took a deep breath. She didn't want to push the girl, but she needed information. The sooner she got it, the sooner both of them could leave. "Hannah, what did … they … want?"

Hannah flicked her eyes back and forth between the door and Ziva nervously. "Information."

"What kind?"

"I … I'm not sure." She whispered softly. "I think it had something to do with my mom's work."

"Do you know anything about what your mother does?" Ziva asked.

"No." Ziva sighed. Hannah was lying, she could see it in her eyes and her body language. There was something she wasn't letting onto, but Ziva knew better than to push. She knew that all it would do is cause Hannah to shut down, and they had come too far to have that happen.

"Did they ask you any questions?"

"No." Ziva was quiet. If they didn't ask her questions, then why was she there?

And then it hit Ziva. _Oh God._ She thought. "Hannah … why were you there?"

Hannah's bottom lip trembled and tears began to form in her eyes. "The used me to get information out of her." Ziva didn't say anything. "They … they brutalized me. Used me in every sense of the word. His men did things … things _worse_ than rape." Hannah began to cry, covering her face with her hands.

_His men? Who is "he"?_ A pang of sorrow hit Ziva's heart. She knew the things Hannah was describing all too well. "Who is he?"

Hannah stopped crying and looked up at Ziva. Her entire body began to shake, and her eyes burned with hatred and fear. "Harid Ullman."

Ziva's eyes widened. "Ullman?" She whispered. "Are you _sure_ that is his name?" Her voice was firm, and slightly panicked.

Hannah was taken by surprise. "Y-yeah … I'm sure." She looked questioningly at Ziva. "Ziva … what's going on?"

Ziva ignored her question. "I will see you tomorrow." She said distantly before standing up to leave.

Once outside the room, Ziva flipped open her phone and dialed Gibbs's number.

"Yeah, Gibbs." A husky voice grunted on the opposite end.

"Gibbs." Ziva said, fear evident in her voice.

Gibbs was immediately alert. "Ziver, stay were you are. I'm coming."

Ziva closed her phone, and took a seat outside Hannah's room on one of the plastic chairs.

She stared blankly ahead, trying to process what she had just been told.

_Ullman. As in Saleem Ullman._ She thought to herself. _But who is Harid?_ Ziva wracked her brain, trying to remember an instance when her captor had mentioned the name, but nothing came.

Ziva was left staring at Hannah's door, lost in thought.

"Ziver." A gentle but firm voice jolted her from her thoughts. Ziva flinched and looked up from the origin of the sound. She relaxed a little when she saw that it was only Gibbs. Tony trailed a few steps behind him, his face contorted with worry and affection. "What is it, Ziva?"

Ziva took a deep breath and tried to calm herself down before speaking. "Their captor's name was Harid." Ziva let her eyes fall to the floor. "Harid Ullman."

Gibbs and Tony looked at her in shock. "Go get McGee." Gibbs said quietly to Tony. But Tony didn't move. He didn't want to leave Ziva's side. Gibbs finally turned to meet him, giving him a slap on the head, "_Dinozzo!_"

Tony winced, "Right. Sorry Boss." He turned on his heels and walked quickly away.

Gibbs knelt next to Ziva, whose eyes were still trained on the floor. "Ziva … look at me." She let her eyes flick up to meet his ice blue gaze. "Do you know anything about … _him_?"

Ziva looked back at the floor. "No." She said shakily. She was dangerously close to falling apart, Gibbs could hear it in her voice. "Just that Harid is somehow related to …" Her voice trailed off.

Gibbs nodded. "Ok." He whispered, putting a hand on her back. "Go back to the compound, Dunham is waiting downstairs with the car." Ziva nodded and stood up, turning to leave.

"Ziva," Gibbs grabbed her hand. She stiffened and pulled it away. Gibbs sighed, "He's dead, Ziver. Just … remember that."

Ziva nodded sadly. _But he is not_. She wanted to say. _He is still alive. At least in my mind._

__**What do you think? Leave a review and let me know (:  
Things may be hard again for Ziva, but there is something different now.  
Tony!  
If you review Ziva will show you how to kill someone 18 different ways with a paperclip :p  
Love you all!**

**Xo,  
Alex**


	21. Love

Tony opened the door to be met with Ziva's gun pointed at him.

She was huddled in the farthest corner of the room. Shaking, sweat pouring down her face, her tear-streaked eyes were wild and terrified and her pale face was contorted with fear. A few curly wisps of dark brown hair clung to her face and neck. She dropped the gun to her side when she realized that it was only Tony.

He didn't come over to her at first, to awestruck of her condition. He just stood in the door frame, watching her every move. Neither of them spoke, the only sound that could be heard was the soft panting of Ziva's panicked breath. She leaned her head against the wall, closing her eyes as tears escaped to the floor. She was still gripping her gun, squeezing it every few seconds as if to make sure it was still there.

"Close the door, Tony." Her voice was barely audible. Tony did as she said and then slowly, cautiously made his way over to her. The second he took his first step, she stiffened and jerked away from the sound of his footsteps. He stopped walking for a moment, letting her process who he was. After the longest minute of his life, Tony finally saw Ziva's shoulders relax, however she was still shaking profusely. He once again began to walk towards her, careful this time not to let his shoes make too loud of a sound. When he finally reached her, he sat down across from her. He knew better than to try and make physical contact with her. He would probably end up loosing a limb if he did.

He instead opted for talking. "Zi." He whispered, his voice was calm and even. Ziva slowly turned her eyes to meet his gaze. Tony couldn't help but notice how childlike she looked. She was so innocent looking, filled with genuine fear. It was like watching a five-year-old wake up from a bad dream. She seemed to have shrunk in size, her previously slender frame looking almost sickly. It was at that moment that he realized how little Ziva had actually eaten on the trip. At most, she would eat two meals a day, and even then they were small and she would never finish what was on her plate. Tony shook his head out of his thoughts. _Focus on her now ... worry about the rest later_. He thought to himself. "Wanna talk?"

"No."

"Want a hug?"

"No."

"I love you."

"How can you?" Ziva once again leaned her head against the concrete wall and closed her eyes. "I feel alone." Ziva pulled the gun onto her lap, playing with the trigger.

Tony's eyes widened. He snatched the gun away from her, jumping to his feet as he did. Ziva snapped her eyes open. "What are ya, crazy, Zi?" Tony boomed.

"W-wha-"

"Don't you even _think_ about it, Ziva David." Ziva knew she couldn't pretend that she didn't know what he was talking about. Her eyes clouded with frustration.

"So _what_ if I do, Tony?" She yelled back, standing up. "Who would miss me, anyway? I need to get out, Tony ... do you not get that?" Her voice suddenly grew soft. "I cannot do this any longer. I am so tired of feeling like this. Every time I think that things will get better, something else happens. I wish I had not come."

Tony felt a twinge of guilt in his stomach. He knew that he had told her to go, and couldn't help but feel partially responsible. Ziva looked up at the ceiling. "Is this why you wanted me to come!" She cried. "I thought you were trying to help me!" Tony looked at her, confused by the action.

Ziva looked back at him. "Sorry."

"Don't be."

"I am."

"You don't have anything to be sorry for."_  
_

Ziva didn't respond. She merely sat back down, and stared at the wall in front of her. She was tired. Physically and emotionally drained.

"I love you." Tony said again, once more joining her on the floor.

Ziva gave him a small sad smile, "I love you too."

**Yeah I know ... kinda dark ... but I PROMISE things will turn around soon!  
As always, review pretty please! And maybe show this story to your friends? I always love getting feedback and seeing what people think (:**

**I love you all!  
Xo,  
Alex**


	22. Figment

When he was sure Ziva was asleep, Tony snuck out of the room and made his way to his team leaders'. He found Gibbs sitting outside the door, staring at the wall ahead of him. Tonys stopped about three feet from him. Gibbs didn't look at him. His brow was furrowed, and his eyes were flashing with different emotions.

"Boss." Tony said grimly.

Gibbs looked up at him. "Yeah, Tony?"

Tony didn't say anything at first. He couldn't bring himself to tell his boss what had happened. What Ziva had said, what she had threatened to do. He sighed, leaning his back against the wall, and sunk down next to Gibbs.

The two men sat there, staring ahead of them. Neither of them saying anything for what seemed to be hours. Until finally, Tony worked up the courage to talk.

"She ..." He stopped. It was as if his mouth couldn't form the sentence. He was shutting down. He could _feel_ himself draining, both physically and emotionally. But he knew he had to say something. "I came into the room tonight, and ... she was terrified, boss. Worse than I've ever seen. And then ... I was talking to her and ... she had her gun and she was kinda playing with the trigger. And I ..." Tony stopped.

Gibbs looked at Tony, his icy blue stare filled with pain and sorrow. He knew Ziva was hurting, but he didn't know it was that serious. This was _Ziva_ they were talking about. Their strong, Israeli, kick-ass, ex-Mossad ninja. She always held it together, always got through things, was always strong. But suddenly, everything had changed.

"Stay home with her tomorrow, Tony." Gibbs said, standing up. Tony nodded, and began to walk back to his room. "Tony," Gibbs said, stopping the senior agent in his tracks. "You hurt her, and I'll kill you myself."

Tony's eyes widened slightly, "Boss, how did yo-"

"I know love when I see it, Tony." The silver haired man mused. "Night."

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS NCISNCISNCISNCIS

_Darkness. Again. The same darkness that had started her living hell. "No." She mumbled to herself, "fight it. Do not dream, do not dream, do not dream..."_

_"You cannot get away that easily, Ziva." The voice made Ziva's chest tighten. She felt panicked breaths escape her lips._

_Saleem Ullman._

_She shut her eyes, trying to wake herself up. She suddenly felt a hand grab her by the neck. She struggled against the grasp, "STOP!" she was screaming, too afraid to control herself._

_She felt a hand slap her across the face, as she fell to the floor. She grew quiet, shocked by the action. "You are giving me a headache, Ziva." Saleem mused. He was circling her. She pulled her legs up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them._

_"You are just a pigment of my imagination." She said out loud, frustrated tears streaming down her face._

_"Figment." he chuckled, evilly. "But then again, if that were true, why can you not stop me from doing THIS." Ziva felt a boot connect with her stomach._

_Pain began to consume her. She groaned softly and held her throbbing ribs. Saleem laughed, and then kicked her again. Ziva screamed once more, and folded her knees into her chest, trying to protect her soar stomach._

_"S-stop." She whispered between ragged breaths. "P-please. What is the point of this? You are dead."_

_"But you do not think so." Saleem said. He stopped kicking her. "You have somehow connected my brother to me."_

_Ziva looked up at him. "He is your brother?"_

_Saleem shrugged, "How should I know? You are making me up in your head." He began circling her again, "And yet you make me bring you such pain." He said curiously. He suddenly took something out of his back pocket, a flash of gold glinting in Ziva's eyes._

_It was a chain, a necklace of some sort. And that is when Ziva realized that it was HER necklace. She felt her chest, trying desperately to convince herself that her Star of David still hung around her neck, but it was in vain. _

_Ziva pushed herself up off the ground, gritting her teeth as she felt a sharp pain in her ribs. "Give. That. Back." She was fuming._

_Saleem smiled viciously. "No." He said simply. And with that, he took one final blow at Ziva. His hand connected with her face, and Ziva was sent into perpetual darkness._

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS NCISNCISNCISNCIS

She woke suddenly, not even hesitating before pushed herself into his embrace. She was sobbing, not bothering to hold her tears back in front of him. He just held her. Not knowing how to make things better.

**Of COURSE Gibbs knows! He knows everything.  
Sorry I've been so late to update ... I've had midterms and soso much homework!  
I promise to update more frequently from now on ... thank you for sticking with me!  
I have a joke for you guys this week:**

**Why did the chicken cross the road?  
Because he wanted to ask you guys to review!**

**Xo!  
Alex**


	23. OK

"Zi?"

Her arms were crossed protectively over her chest and her eyes stayed fixed on the sheets.

"Come on, Ziva." Tony tried again.

She ignored him, turning her head slightly away from him, letting a few dark ringlets fall across her tear stained face. Tony sighed in defeat, and turned his back to her, getting out of the bed.

"Why does this keep happening?" Her voice was raspy from screaming.

Tony turned around. She was staring right at him, her deep brown eyes glistening with tears. He didn't respond, no longer sure how to make things better for her. He thought that him being there was enough, but today had proved otherwise.

"I-I don't know, Zi." He said softly, "I wish I could tell you ... but I just don't know."

She looked back at the sheets. "I know." She said, her voice trembling slightly. She hadn't expected him to answer. How could he know, anyway? It wasn't his fault that this was happening.

Tony's heart nearly broke at the sound of her voice. So weak and hopeless. He once again found himself reminded of a small child. He came and sat down on the bed next to her, slipping one arm around her shoulders. She leaned her head against him, taking a deep breath as she did. Tony hesitated before taking his other hand and gently stroking her hair. She tensed at first, but once she processed that the touch meant no harm, she immediately relaxed.

Neither of them spoke for a long time.

Ziva didn't want to further the conversation, and hoped that by staying silent, perhaps it wouldn't.  
Tony, on the other hand, wanted to talk but wasn't sure what exactly to say.

"Gibbs wants us to stay at the compound tomorrow."

Ziva pulled away from him, "Why?" She wasn't angry, more frustrated.

Tony looked at her, "You know why, Zi."

She looked back, her face contorted with a knit of emotions Tony couldn't fully read. "I do not need to stay home, Tony." She paused, "I am fine. Really."

Tony lifted an eyebrow, "Sounds more like your trying to convince yourself than me, Zi."

"I am fi-"

"No, your _not_, Ziva." Tony said forcefully. "Why can't you just admit it for once in your life. You are _not_ OK. You haven't been OK for over three years, and I let it slide, and I can't tell you how guilty I feel about that. But I'm not ignoring it this time, Ziva. So for once, please don't lie to me!"

Ziva was looked at him, eyes wide. "Tony ... I-I a-"

"How can you do this, Zi?"

"Do what?"

"Lie to someone you love."

Silence. Long, heartbreaking silence.

Ziva's shoulders began to sag, and her shoulders returned to the sheets. "I do not know."

He put one finger under her chin,willing her to meet his gaze. "Are you OK, Ziva?"

She hesitated, uncomfortably looking around before finally answering, "No."

Tony nodded. Keeping his finger underneath her chin, he slowly began to lean towards her. He felt her tense for a moment, so he stopped, looking deep into her eyes. Once she relaxed, he tried again. She didn't protest this time, leaning in a little herself.

Her heart was pounding. She had never been this mixed with emotions in her entire life. This was _Tony_. Her partner, the person that she loved more than anything in this world. But, at the same time, was she ready for this? It was a long road to recovery, and no matter how much she tried to convince herself, she knew she wasn't even close to there. But she wanted this, _needed_ this. So, with one final deep breath, she closed her eyes.

A small, soft kiss that lingered for no more than a few seconds. Nothing missing, neither of them begging for more. The perfect moment, shared between two people who could not love each other more than they did.

Tony smiled one of his a thousand watt smiles. Ziva smiled back.

She wasn't ok, they both knew that. But Tony was now positive she would be.

**Sort of a short chapter, but AHHHHH!  
Hooray for Tiva kissing!  
Things are definatley gonna start to get better from here.  
Promise to be updating more soon,  
To be totally honest with you guys, the more reviews I get, the more driven I am to update!  
So pretty please review if you want more!  
Love you all!  
Xo,  
Alex**


	24. The Beginning

They feel asleep in each other's arms that night, Tony holding her close, Ziva snuggled into his chest. It felt natural, _right_ ... like they had been doing it their entire lives. Tony woke first, happy to see Ziva fast asleep in his arms. He smiled and pulled her in tighter, feeling her eyelashes tickling his neck. Tony took a deep breath, taking in the scent of her brown curls before kissing the top of her head softly.

He felt her stir slightly, and looked down as her eyes began to flutter open slowly. She yawned and moved her brown eyes to meet his.

Tony smiled warmly at her, "'Mornin, Zi."

She smiled back, "Hello."

Ziva pulled out of his embrace, stretching once before getting out of their bed and getting ready for the day.

"What are ya doing, Zi?" she said, not looking up from what she was doing.

"We have to get ready, do we not?"

"Ziva ..."

She turned to look at him, "I am ... fine." She said uncertainly. She knew it was not worth lying about to him, Tony knew her far too well. He merely lifted one eyebrow.

Ziva sighed defeated, "Fine." she said, exasperated, "But tomorrow, I am _not_ staying home."

Tony shrugged, "Not my call, but whatever you say."

Ziva came and perched on the edge of the bed, "What exactly does Gibbs expect us to do for the rest of the day?"

He shrugged again, picking up his phone, "I'll ask Gibbs."

Ziva nodded as Tony flipped open his phone dialing the first number on his speed dial (Ziva was the first).

"Yeah, Gibbs."

"Hey Boss, what exactly do you want us to do today?"

"Talk to her, Dinozzo. Get her to open up a little."

Tony nodded, "Anything else."

"No funny business, Dinozzo. You hear me?" He was deathly serious. "I don't care what you do at home, but when your on the job you are _on the job_. Got it?"

"Got it, Boss."

There was a click on the other line as Gibbs hung up. Tony closed his phone and looked back at Ziva, who was impatiently tapping her finger on her knee.

"Well?" She said.

Tony smiled, "You're not gonna like it..."

She rolled her eyes, "Just _tell_ me, Tony."

"He wants you to talk to me."

She rolled her eyes again, "We talk all the time, Tony. Why would I not like that?"

Tony faced her, a solemn look in his eyes.

She bowed her head, "Oh."

"Yeah." He got off the bed, and came over to Ziva and took her into his arms.

He felt her instantly relax and wrap her arms around him, pressing herself against him. They stood like that for a while, neither of them wanting to stray from each other. However, Tony finally did pull away, and Ziva looked up at him, dreading the conversation to come.

"Do we have to do this?" She said.

Tony sighed, but didn't answer her. Did they? I mean Gibbs wasn't there, and if she didn't want to ... no. NO. She _needed_ this. He knew it, she knew it. He couldn't get soft just because she wants to close herself off from the world and pretend that she is OK. She needs someone to talk to, someone who can pull her into their arms and tell her that everything is going to be fine and mean it.

"Yeah, Zi." He said softly. "We do."

Tony watched her shoulders tense and her jaw stiffen. "Tony ... I ... please."

"Zi, you need this. If your not gonna do it for me, do it for yourself. You can't run forever."

Ziva sat down on the edge of the bed, closed her eyes, and then spoke. "Where do you want me to start?" She whispered, keeping her eyes trained on her feet.

Tony came, and sat down next to her, taking one of her hands in his, "The beginning."

**Soooo ... what do ya think?  
****Review pretty please!  
****I don't have anything too special to say .. just that Ziva is going to start making a recovery and there will be more with the rest of the team and Hannah!  
****Love you all 3  
****Xo,**

**Alex**


	25. Alive

"It was a suicide mission." She started, "I knew, but I was angry. At my father, at Gibbs, at Michael ... at you."

She paused, nervously biting her lip. She looked up with him, her bottomless brown eyes looking up uneasily into his emerald green ones. He squeezed her hand gently, and nodded encouragingly. She took a deep breath, and continued.

"The Damocles was just collateral damage. The crew started to get ... suspicious, they started asking questions. When their questions were not answered, they became unhappy with our presence. We took them all down, even a friend I had made."

She stopped again, her eyes hazing over as the memory consumed her. She looked tired and defeated, a look that Tony hated on her more than anything in this world. He knew she didn't want to go on, and part of him hoped that she wouldn't. He wasn't sure if he was ready to hear what happened, if he would _ever_ be ready to. But he knew she needed to talk, and he wanted to be there for her.

"We reached the Somalian boarder by sheer luck. Malachi had a gunshot wound to the arm, but I was alright. I finally convinced him to stay behind. I went on alone. I killed a courier after forcing him to take me to the ... _his_ ... camp. I came so close. I could have ... I could have gotten to Saleem. I could have killed him, but ... one of his men came from behind and shot me in the arm. The pain was not too bad, so I tried to keep going, but I lost too much blood and passed out. The next thing I remember is waking up tied to a chiar."

Ziva looked up at Tony, "You do not have to do this. Just tell me to stop, and we can forget the entire thing." Her voice was hopeful. She wanted him to tell her to stop, and to be honest, Tony considered it for a moment. But, he shook his head and said nothing more.

Ziva sighed in defeat, and continued here story. "At first it the torture was not too bad. He would inject me with a truth serum, try and get information out of me, and if I did not cooperate only then would he inflict physical pain. The physical abuse was not unbearable at first, it was the mental abuse that hurt the most. He used every method he could think of to try and dehumanize me. His favorite was to call me a ... 'Jew Whore'." Ziva closed her eyes, feeling her chest tighten slightly as his voice filled her head.

_He laughed malevolently, leveling his face with hers "If I did not know any better, I would say you were enjoying this. After all, you have the power to make it stop, and yet you refuse." Ziva __could barely keep her eyes open. White hot pain consumed her, and she was left unable to speak. Saleem smiled viciously, taking one hand and stroking it across her bruised and bloodied face. She flinched, but was too weak to pull away. He smiled again, spitting in her face and striking her in the stomach with his boot. Ziva didn't hold back the scream that came from her lips. "Dumb whore."_

_She was alone again, writhing in pain on the dusty desert floor. She felt darkness begin to consume her once more._

"Zi." A hand was delicately placed on her shoulder, she opened her eyes as the last of the flashback faded away.

She looked back down at her knees, "Sorry."

"Don't be."

She brought her legs up onto the bed, crossing them. He did the same.

"Keep going."

"I... Tony."

Tony squeezed her hand reassuringly, and looked into her eyes. "Please, Zi. If your not gonna do it for yourself, do it for me?"

"I do not know if I am ready for you to hear everything though, Tony. You cannot begin to _imagine_ what happened there ... here. It is-"

Tony leaned in, planting a soft, swift kiss on her lips. She was slightly stunned by the sudden gesture of affection. "What was that for?" She asked.

Tony smiled, "Just for being the strongest, bravest, most beautiful woman I have ever met."

Ziva frowned, "Tony, that does not change the fact that I do not want to talk about all this."

Tony's million watt smiled dropped into a grim smirk, "I had to try, Zi."

She sighed, "You really want to know?" Tony nodded. "Fine. But do not say that I did not warn you."

"I can handle it, Ziva."

_Oh, Tony._ She thought to herself. _I hope that is true_._  
_

"For the most part, it was not Saleem who would ... interrogate ... me. He would have his right hand man, Kamul do it. If you thought Saleem was bad, Tony, you should have seen Kamul. He was a brutal man with methods far worse. His favorite method was sexual abuse, but he would also opt for electrocution. I was raped more times than I can count. I... Oh God." She stood abruptly, running to the small bathroom with her hand over her mouth, and slamming the door behind her.

Tony stood slowly, making his way over to the closed door, and putting his ear up against it. After the gagging of what was surely her emptying the contents of her stomach, he heard soft, choked sobs. He pulled his ear away, reaching for the door knob, and slowly opening the bathroom door. He found her wedged in between the make-shift shower and the toilet. Ziva looked up as he walked in.

"Get out. _go!_"She managed between ragged breaths. She tried desperately to wipe the tears that continued to fall. Tony just stood there, staring at her, unsure of what to say. "I said _go!_"

He watched as her panicked eyes pleaded, contrastic the strength and anger in her voice. She wasn't mad, she was embarrassed.

"No."

Ziva looked up at him, eyes wide. "W-_what?_"

"I said no, Zi. I'm not going away." Tony straightened his back, trying to make himself seem as strong as possible.

Her lower lip began to tremble, "Please," she whispered, pulling her thin frame farther into the corner, "I-"

"_No_, Ziva. I am not going to leave!" His voice softened suddenly, "I promised you I would never leave." Tony crouched down, in front of her, reaching one hand out and placing it on her knee.

Ziva shuddered, but did not pull away. Tony then pulled her out of the corner and into his tender embrace. He buried his face in her hair, letting the soft ringlets tickle his cheek soothingly. "What did they do to you, Ziva?" He whispered.

Ziva pulled away from him, turning to face him. She then lifted one of her shirt sleeves to her elbow, revealing her scarred arm. She looked back up at Tony, hurt radiating through her stair. "Does this answer your question?"

Tony looked at her arm, perfect, tan, olive skin. Mutilated in every way imaginable. The scars came in every shape and size. Long, thin slivers, circular, round burns, but worst of all was the long, dark scar that ran from her wrist to above her elbow. He took her arm in his hand. Ziva stiffened for a moment, and thought about pulling away, but something about his touch felt good and she couldn't bring herself to do it.

Tony studied her arm, bringing it close up to his face, tracing each of them with his finger, and then, placing a soft kiss on one of them. It was only then that Ziva was motivated to remove her arm from his grasp. She flinched, pulling her arm back, and pushing her sleeve down.

Ziva looked at him with tired, hurt eyes. But Tony noticed something through all that hurt.

Something wonderful and beautiful.

Somewhere in between returning to Somalia and talking to Tony, the spark in her eyes was back.

Ziva David was alive again.

**I am SO sorry for not being on ... I hope you all don't kill me for the lack of updates!**

**I have been soso busy with school and the play (rehersals every frickin weekend!)**

**I know you are probably mad at me, but pleaseee review!**

**I promise I won't wait as long to update next time... I just kept putting it off! (I'm a procrastinator!)**

**Anyway, love you all!**

**Xo,  
Alex**


	26. Sorry

A wide grin spread across Tony's face, as he looked into her eyes. Ziva looked back at him quizzically.

"I do not see anything funny about this, Tony."

"It isn't that, Zi. Its your eyes."

"What about them?"

"Its back."

Ziva rolled her re-animated eyes in annoyance.

"_What_ is back?"

"The spark. The light and flare that made me fall in love with you in the first place. Its back, Ziva. Your back."

Ziva frowned, her face contorted with apprehension. "I do not think something in my eyes means that I am ... back."

"Its a start though, Zi."

Ziva got up off the bathroom floor, going over to the small mirror in front of the sink.

She was a mess. Her eyes were puffy from crying, her cheeks had lines from tears, and her face was hollow and pale. Her entire _body_ was hollow and pale. She looked tired and frail, as if her eyes and the rest of her had switched place. Once here eyes regained their spark, the rest of her body became dull.

"Have you been eating, Ziva?"

Ziva turned to face him, taken off-gaurd by the sudden question. "I ... I mean ..."

Tony got up off the floor, taking a step closer to her. She lowered her face to the side, trying not to make eye contact with him.

"Its not a trick question, Ziva. Have you been eating?"

She bit her lip nervously. "Not well."

"When is the last time you ate?"

Ziva didn't answer him, keeping her face lowered in shame. Tony took another step closer to her, watching as her eyes flicked back and forth nervously between him and the floor.

"Ziva, when was the last time you ate?"

She let her eyes meet his. "I do not know. Two or three days ago perhaps?" She said, dismissal and annoyance both evident in her tone.

Tony felt his heart drop to his stomach. Two or three ... _days? _Tony grasped her by both her shoulders, jolting Ziva out of the haze she was in.

"T-Tony ... let go of me." She said, squirming weakly beneath his grasp.

"Not until you promise me you will take better care of yourself." He said firmly.

Ziva looked at him, eyes wide with a mix of fear and panic. Things were better, however sudden and strong grasps and movements still made her feel uncomfortable. She was used to Tony's touch being soothing, but this was different. What Tony meant to be a sense of urgency, Ziva interpreted as harmful.

"Tony, please. Let. Me. Go."

But Tony didn't let go, his hard eyes stayed fixed on her panicked brown orbs. Ziva felt her chest tighten once again and her breathing become heavy and uneven. She tried desperately to stay calm, to try and shut down her emotions. She focused all her energy on Tony's eyes, but she could still feel his hands on her numb skin, like pins and needles.

Ziva lost it.

She let a faint moan escape her lips as she fought against Tony's grip. Tony didn't move, he had to get her to trust his touch, even when it wasn't purely affectionate. He _had_ to make her see that he wasn't going to hurt her.

"Ziva." Tony whispered softly, "Look at me, Zi. Its only me ... Tony."

Ziva's face jerked from the sound of his voice. Tony watched in horror as her eyes began to cloud over and she slipped from reality.

_"Look at me."_

_Ziva remained still, squeezing her eyelids closed. 'Maybe if they think I am asleep, he will leave me alone.' It was wishful thinking, and she knew it. But It was those same wishful thoughts that were the only thing that kept her alive._

_Ziva felt a hand on her upper arm as she was pulled off the ground. She let her eyes flutter open to find herself face to face with Kamul, a yellow-toothed grin spread across his face. Ziva hung her head, one part because of the fear, ninety-nine parts because of the shame. Ziva heard a thud and felt a throbbing pain in her head and shoulders as she was flung against the wall._

_Kamul laughed as he watched her struggle to pull herself up, using the wall as support. Ziva was able to bring herself to a sitting position before she gave up._

_"What is it with you, Ms. David?" Kamul questioned._

_Ziva merely looked at him, hatred pulsing through her stare. She knew that silence would only cause her more pain, but it was better than betraying those who she cared about. Her family._

_NCIS._

_"Tell me everything you know about NCIS." A demand Ziva had heard so many times. She remained silent, staring at Kamul._

_Ziva felt a hand slap across her face._

_"Alright, forget NCIS. Tell me about Mossad."_

_Her silence was rewarded with another slap to the face, but Ziva still refused to speak._

_Kamul's face turned red. Her hit her again, the time between each blow becoming less until he was beating her._

_He stopped suddenly, panting heavily. A small, grim chuckle escaped his lips._

_"Saleem said you would be hard to break, but no matter. We have time, Ms. David." He picked her up, pushing her down on the metal table in the center of the small room. "So much time."_

_Ziva's uneven breath quickened as she felt his hand on her bare stomach. She squeezed her eyes shut, turning her head away from him just as he placed his lips on her neck. Ziva __shuddered. Kamul once again let out a soft, terrifying chuckle as he slowing moved his hand down her malnourished stomach._

_"You will talk, Ms. David. But, in the meantime, let us have a little fun."_

She was moaning, mumbling softly in Arabic. Tony cradled her in his arms, whispering soothing words in her ear. He felt her body twist and tense and the flashback continued.

"No, n-not again. Please." It was the first thing that she had said that Tony was able to understand, and it broke Tony's heart.

Ziva screamed suddenly, letting out a cry of sheer terror. "Stop! P-please!" Tears began to slip down her cheeks.

Tony felt tears form in his own eyes, as he held her, feeling completely helpless and guilty. _If only I had just let go of her arms._ He thought to himself bitterly.

"Zi, come on Zi. Your OK, its me, Tony."

Ziva whimpered shrinking away from his voice. She began to speak in Arabic again, mumbling words that Tony could not understand.

Tony leaned down and kissed the top of her forehead. Ziva shot up out of his embrace, panting heavily.

"Z-Zi?" Tony whispered cautiously, "Ziva, can you hear me?"

Ziva nodded slowly, not turning to face him.

"Are you OK?"

Ziva twitched slightly, but did not answer him.

"Do you wanna talk?"

Once again, no answer.

"I ... I love you."

Tony suddenly heard faint sobs coming from the Israeli. He sighed in defeat, pulling her back into his embrace.

"I'm sorry!" She cried in grief. Tony's heart broke again.

This was the second time throughout their stay in Somalia that she had felt the need to apologize to him.

"Ziva, what happened? What did you see?" Tony asked, trying to keep his voice firm.

"Just for _once,_Tony, be satisfied with what I have told you. Trust me, you do not want to know." She said, turning to face him.

"I want to know, Zi."

"No. You do not."

"_Yes._ I do."

Ziva threw her hands up in the air. "_Fine_, Tony! I will tell you. I saw Kamul. I saw him beat me, and _rape_ me. I saw him take away ever last shred of self-respect I had. I saw him take away any hope I had left. I saw him _break_ me. I saw him take away everything! He destroyed me, mentally and physically. And you want to know what happened? Did _any_ of you ever once stop to think what talking about it is like for me? NO! It was all about you and your need to know _everything!"_ Ziva stopped as sobs began to wrack her body once more.

"Oh, Ziva," Tony said, tears beginning to fall onto his own cheeks, "I am so sorry."

**I know, I know.**

**ANOTHER sad chapter ... but the idea came and i HAD to write it!  
I hope you like it (:**

**I am going to start posting a LOT more! I promise!**

**Please keep reviewing and reading (: I love you all!**

**XO,**

**Alex**


	27. Guilt and Glee

Gibbs made his way out of Hannah's room, shutting the door quietly behind him. Hannah had been hard to talk to. She was stiff, and scared by the presence of a male in her room, yet tried in vain to mask her fear of men with anger. It reminded him of Ziva, the way she had reacted to men after her rescue. He felt - for some reason - guilty for the way she felt, even though he knew that it was not his fault.

McGee walked silently out of the Lieutenant's room, a solemn expression enveloping his features, and walked over to his silver haired boss.

"Any luck with the Lieutenant?"

McGee nodded, keeping his eyes trained on the ground. Gibbs rolled his eyes.

"Anything you care to share, McGee?"

There was a long pause between the two men.

"Kamul Ullman was Saleem's brother, however he was killed during their rescue mission. As far as she was concerned, no one survived the attack. Two out of the four on the rescue squad were killed, the other two severely wounded. They were released two days before we arrived to fly back to the U.S."

McGee stopped, and silence once more encased the two men. He returned his gaze to the hospital floor, his shoulders tense. Gibbs knew what he was thinking, he was thinking the same thing. _It could have been us. We were lucky to get out._

McGee felt his phone vibrate in his back pocket. He flipped it open, bringing it up to his ear. "Yeah."

"You guys need to come back."

McGee, stared quizzically ahead, "Tony?"

"Yeah. Look, just come back to the compound. Its ... its important."

He heard a soft click as the line went dead. McGee shut his phone, staring at it confused.

"Well?" Gibbs asked bluntly.

"Uh ... boss, that was Tony. He wants us to come back. Now."

"Any idea _why?_"

McGee shrugged. "Not a clue. Unless..."

Gibbs sighed, "Ziva."

McGee nodded sadly.

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

"Shh, Ziva, everything is going to be OK."

Ziva didn't say anything. Since her last outburst, she had kept her hands grasped onto Tony's t-shirt and her mouth had stayed firmly sealed, only to open to let out a slight moan or sob every once and a while.

Tony heard the creaking of a door, and watched as Gibbs walked slowly into the small bathroom, followed by McGee.

Gibbs knelt down, placing a hand in Ziva's hair, "What happened?" He said, concern filling his voice.

"She ... she was doing great ... talking and everything. But then, then she just lost it. I tried to save her, but ..." Tony looked up at Gibbs with tear-filled eyes, "there was nothing I could do, Boss!"

Gibbs nodded, taking Ziva from Tony's arms and placing her in his own. Tony didn't move, his eyes stayed fixed on Ziva's petrified face as Gibbs stroked her hair soothingly. It was only then that Tony noticed her lips moving slightly. She was mumbling something.

Tony moved in closer to her, placing his ear near her mouth.

"T-Tali. Tali I n-need you."

Tony's breath caught in his chest.

"What?" Gibbs asked, "Dinozzo ... _what did she say?_"

Tony let his eyes rest on Ziva. Ziva, feeling his gaze, looked back up, still curled in Gibbs's safe embrace.

Tony placed a hand on her arm, "I am so sorry." He whispered. Ziva gave him a curt nod, and let her eyes fall back to the floor.

"She's asking for Tali."

Gibbs squinted his eyes, "Who?"

Tony sighed, "Her little sister."

"Z-Ziva has a sister?" The two men looked over to a wide-eyed McGee who had pulled himself out of his state of shock to ask the question.

Tony nodded, "She was killed when she was sixteen."

Gibbs returned his gaze to Ziva, whose eyes were now closed as she drifted into a restless sleep. Gibbs picked her up, and carried her slender figure over to the bed. After making sure that she was comfortable and kissing her on the forehead, he returned to Tony and McGee.

McGee was terrified. He had heard about the affects that Somalia had on her the first time around, but to see Ziva so ... un-Ziva was a rude awakening for him. He realized then why the team had been secretive with him. They weren't trying to hurt him, as a matter of fact it was quite the opposite. A wave of guilt washed over him as he came to the realization that he had been angry with his team - no, his _family_ - for trying to protect him. McGee looked up timidly at Tony. His eyes were distant, as he watched Gibbs lay Ziva down on the bed ... their bed.

Wait a minute.

"Oh my God." McGee mumbled. Tony's head snapped towards him. "Oh my _God. _You and Ziva ... your ... your ..."_  
_

"Go on." Tony gritted his teeth, "Say it McObservant."

Tim ignored the nickname. "Are you two ... I mean ... your not ... are you?"

Tony turned back to Ziva. That was all the answer McGee needed. His eyes widened, a sort of child-like glee overtaking him.

"You _are_, aren't you?"

Tony sighed, "Yeah," he said quietly, "I guess we are."

**So sorry for being on such a long hiatus ...  
things have been hectic at home and then with the events what happened today in Boston I didn't get the chance to finis until right now.  
Hope you enjoy the chapter!**

**More to follow**

**Please please PLEASE Review! (:**

**Alex**


	28. Relief

**WOW WELL IM A TERRIBLE PERSON I KNOW.**

**TO be totally honest I had absolutely no inspiration for this story for a while, but it kept getting reviews so here I am!**

**enjoy(:**

* * *

McGee's glee faltered when he noted the look on Tony's face, and suddenly felt very foolish for ever feeling such happiness in a time like this. He stared awkwardly at his shoes, flicking his eyes up every so often to Tony and Gibbs. Of course, he was happy for the two, but he also felt a sense of guilt. He could not imagine the pain that must have consumed Tony over the past week and a half, watching Ziva fall apart right in front of him. It had been hard enough for Gibbs and McGee, as it was. He did not think he could loose Tony as well. No, he thought, I will fix her.

Ziva fell asleep quite easily, to everyone's surprise. She did not dream, she did not awake in a fit of panic, she merely slept. It was refreshing to see her in such a state. There was a feeling of innocence to the whole thing, even her expression was childlike and soft, much like it had been before Somalia. Gibbs felt the weight on his chest lessen at the sight of her, breathing normally, face soft, hands clutched into tiny fists as she curled into a comfortable position on the bed. He couldn't help but think of Kelly when he looked at her. As an infant, his daughter used to wake up in terrible crying fits. Her face would turn so red, they Shannon and him would call her 'The Pink Storm'. However, as fast as the tantrums came on, they soon left, and Kelly would fall asleep looking much the same as Ziva did now. While Gibbs knew the road of recovery would be hard for Ziva, it was moments like this that gave him hope.

Tony felt like he could breath again at the sight of her. It was just as she had wished, a dreamless sleep. He caught himself before he could say that thing would be better from now on, because it had been too many times that he had built his hopes up only to have them knocked down by another nightmare or another panic attack. Instead, he settled for thing would in time be better. He even chanced to think that maybe, just _maybe_, she would stop dreaming as much as she once did. He had to admit, the idea was a relief, partially because it meant that she would be recovering, and partially because neither of them had gotten a full night's sleep in a very long time.

"You want me to stay with her?" Gibbs grunted, placing a hand on Tony's shoulder.

Tony shook his head. "I'll stay."

Gibbs raised an eye brow at the senior field agent. "McGee!" McGee's head snapped up, "Take Tony, go get something to eat. Take your time."

McGee nodded quickly, before pushing Tony out of the room, leaving Gibbs and Ziva alone. Gibbs perched himself on the edge of the bed, reaching out one hand and stroking Ziva's hair. A small smile played the woman's lips, but it faltered as sleep once more consumed her senses. Gibbs sighed, content to watch his daughter sleep.

* * *

The mess hall was, quite literally, a mess. The floor was stained, and the stench of over-cooked military meals filled the air. McGee and Tony opted to instead sit outside with paper cups of coffee in hand. Tony took a sip of the burnt coffee, crinkling his nose as the sour taste sloshed down his throat. McGee sputtered as he took his first sip, sending the dark brown liquid everywhere. The two chuckled, before placing the cups down, never to be picked up again.

McGee liked the casualty of it all. It reminded him of how things were back in D.C., and as much as he hated to admit it, he enjoyed the pranks that Tony often pulled on him. There was a sense of brotherhood that he so coveted between the two men. He never had a brother growing up, although he always wanted one. And while he loved his sister, it wasn't the same. McGee looked around the compound before finally letting his eyes fall on Tony.

"So..." He started awkwardly, "how are things going with you two?"

Tony shrugged. "Alright, I guess. Probably would be a lot better if we weren't in this hell-hole." He gestured around him.

McGee nodded. "It has been hard on all of us." Tony shot him a glance, "Especially Ziva." McGee added quickly.

Tony sighed, resting his hand on his forehead. "I don't know," He mumbled, "its just that ... sometimes I feel like she is moving backwards instead of forwards. Its just hard, I guess."

"Well yeah," McGee said, "but she had us. And I mean, this is _Ziva_ we are talking about. She'll get through it ... won't she?"

Tony didn't answer right away. "I mean, yeah ... she has to."

"And besides," McGee concluded, "Gibbs says we are only here for another three days, _max_. We have all the information we need out of the Lieutenant and her daughter."

Tony let out a sigh of relief at that. Home. He had almost forgotten that they were ever leaving this place.

* * *

Ziva woke later that day with a pounding headache, but surprisingly satisfied and relaxed. She sat up in bed, yawning once and stretching.

"Mornin." Ziva jumped, but not out of fear.

"Gibbs." She nodded at the silver-haired man, giving him a lopsided smile.

Gibbs smiled back. "How ya feelin, Ziver?"

Ziva shrugged. "Alright, better than I have in a while." She admitted.

"You scared us for a minute there."

Ziva sighed, bowing her head. "I know." She mumbled, "I am sorry, Gibbs."

Gibbs came and sat next to her on the bed, cupping her face with one hand. "What do I say about apologies?"

Ziva gave him a teary-eyed smile. "But not between friends."

Gibbs laughed. "You got me."


End file.
